Chapter Four – Failure of trying too hard
A week later, Zayaan was leaving for work early once again. Today would mark a new milestone in his life after the news he got from his boss yesterday.
“Zayaan….we’ve got a small issue. Matt said that he wouldn’t be able to go tomorrow. And we can’t delay the release of this documentary either. So…you will need to be its presenter. You did quite well in place of Laaiq in the news about a month ago. So I believe you could do this too. We don’t have someone as good as you for this at the moment.”
His boss had said on the call last night.
“Of course! Time to show what we got!” Zayaan said that to himself while looking at his reflection in the rear view mirror before giving himself a smile and starting the car.
Zayaan is used to receiving such last minute calls from his boss. But he never sees them as manipulation (though he realizes that being assigned jobs that are not part of his job agreement is a kind of manipulation). Nonetheless, he saw these chances as opportunities of building himself. He didn’t want to restrict himself to just his skill of photography though he loves that to death. He wanted to explore and expose himself to different varieties of tasks. This growth mindset of his lead him to be a journalist and an editor in addition to being a photographer within just a few months of his entry to work. And perhaps it was even going to make him a TV presenter starting from today.
After a busy day of writing and editing articles plus reading and going through a script a writer at the company wrote for him to present in the documentary, Zayaan set out with Laaiq and all the employees in-charge of the documentary in the employees’ van to the forest where they would be shooting.
It was a cool evening with light breezes making the leaves of the trees dance lightly to make a soothing music in the forest. Zayaan began to take shots from different areas of the location. Walking among the trees, sitting on his knee near a unique plant, near the river with the waterfall in the background and so it went. Zayaan confidently presented all his bits with little number of repetitions. His favourite shot was the last one, when the sky was getting darker and he had to be saying his final words while standing on a canoe in a lake with one of his foot on its tip.
Everyone applauded for him when he was done with his last shot and he thanked those who praised and congratulated him on presenting a documentary for the first time. He felt the need for a celebration which is why he grabbed Laaiq aside to make a plan.
“Hey let’s eat out tonight! I think we could find a restaurant there across the street. Why don’t you go with the others, get my car and make a dash back here?” Zayaan said, looking at the street overlooking the patch of grass they were standing on. And the small houses right across the street. For some reason, that area seemed familiar even as he saw it from afar. As he was about to make a conclusion, Laaiq spoke.
“What are you going to do here then? I can make a dash of 20 minutes once I get in your car but its prolly gonna take 50 minutes for me to reach the office in the sodding van!”
“That’s ok. I’d like to take some shots of the night sky. Has been a while since I did that. Tonight’s a good night to do that.” Zayaan said while taking a look around him.
“Okay then. Don’t have the energy to convince you otherwise. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Great work today!” Laaiq patted Zayaan on the shoulder before he left.
Once he was all by himself, Zayaan got back in the canoe that was held nearby the edge of the lake. Zayaan got in the canoe and unhooked it before he began to row using the paddles in the canoe. He rowed as he remembered the nursery rhyme he used to love as a kid.
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
He’d always thought the last line of the rhyme had a deep meaning. If life was a dream, then what? To him, the answer was simple. If life was a dream, then he better live his dreams. He better live up to high standards. He better achieve his potential. He better do the best he can for the people he loved most. Little did he know that he was going to go through a hard time doing that in the near future.
But Zayaan believed he was living the life he wanted. There was nothing that could stop him from getting what he aimed for. He thought to himself as he stood to his feet on the canoe once again. This time, he put his foot on the edge of the canoe that was facing the street. He lifted his camera and took a few shots of the landscape in front of his through the dim light that spread across the city as the sun set.
As he was taking the pictures, he noticed a young woman and a small boy coming out from one of the houses. Before he knew it, they crossed the street together and he saw a basket in the boy’s hand and a small torch in the girl’s hand who appeared to be wearing a hijab. The closer they came towards the lake, the more familiar the girl looked. The long black abaya, the hijab, the smooth black skin, the brown eyes that gleamed in the light of the torch,
Zayaan felt a rush overcoming his heart as it dawned upon him. Saba! The girl he thought he would never see again. Now it made sense to him why those houses seemed so familiar to him. And how he knew there would be a restaurant around the corner because he’d noticed one as he drove away from Saba’s house that day.
But what was she doing with a little boy? Was he her son? Zayaan thought as he felt a knot in his stomach when he realized that she might be married. Married happily. For a long time too. From the age of the boy Zayaan estimated in his head. Suddenly he began to feel a bit upset.
But why would he feel that way? Why SHOULD he feel that way? He’d liked her looks, nothing else. There was no reason for him to like her in any other way. What was up with her dress and her bizarre attitude? Too conservative for his liking. Oh and how did she react when he just merely took a picture of her? There was no reason for her to make him feel like a criminal for taking a picture. Who did she think she was?
In a split second, Zayaan criticized Saba a dozen ways in his head not even realizing that he was doing so to protect his own ego. Those thoughts filled up his head as he realized that he may not have her even if he wanted. And the thoughts did make him feel better about himself.
He even lifted up the camera towards her to tell himself (and her, in his head) that he can in fact take pictures of anyone he liked freely. But he didn’t want her to notice that he was giving her any kind of attention so he switched of the sound and flash before aiming the camera at her. Just then, he saw her pausing and looking in his direction. In the next moment, she aimed her torch at him. Zayaan quickly wanted to turn back with his rush of nervousness. Unfortunately, he stepped on the edge of the canoe too hard and the next think he knew, he lost balance and fell into the lake with a splash.
