Chance

May 11 2021

No way! It couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t possibly be forced into an arranged marriage. For God’s sake her parents have lived in America for over a decade. It can’t be that they still carry with them their old school thoughts. It just can’t be. They will accept if she tried to talk to them. They had to!

Alaya wanted to end the matter, then and there. She walked fiercely towards her parents’ room. As she reached the door she imagined herself knocking the door to the point it falls right through the room and her parents wake up with a start. That would have been a funny thought for her if she wasn’t so furious. She just stopped at the door panting. As she was just about to knock on the door, she heard the loud sound of a police car siren from the outside. She looked towards the main door in wonder. Within a few minutes, her mother opened the door.

“What’s that about? Those burglars must be back in the neighborhood again. Mahmood wake up! Alaya what are you doing here?”

Waleeda asked too many questions at once in a hurry while startling Mahmood who was trying hard to get up from bed.

“I…I…I..I just…” Alaya attempted to answer to her mother’s question. But she went towards the main door fixing her hijab on her head and paying little attention to Alaya. Just then, even Asma and Liam were out of their room and within a few seconds, all lights were on.

When Waleeda opened the main door, even Mahmood, who was just coming out of his room heard the cry of their muslim neighbor from just across the street. Hearing the cry of the middle aged women named Rafiyya, everyone came towards the main door to sneak a peak.

“Help us officer….our daughter has fled from home, leaving a suicide note.” Rafiyya talked to the police officer, crying her eyes out.

“We understand ma’m. We will do our very best to find her.” the officer said, consolingly. Rafiyya was still crying when the officers went inside the home to carry out an investigation. Waleeda being the best neighbor in the community, immediately went to her close friend. Alaya simply did not want to go as she seriously does not know how to handle a crying person, let alone a crying mother, who has just lost her daughter. But when Asma followed her mom towards that house, Alaya felt compelled to go.

The three of them reached Rafiyya just as she was about to go inside.

“Rafiyya wait a second!” Waleeda called, reaching up to her with her two daughters following behind her. Rafiyya turned around with teary eyes and burst into tears when Waleeda held her by the shoulder.

“What happened Rafiyya? When did your daughter go missing? She was here so well just last evening. What happened?” Waleeda asked, trying to understand the circumstance.

“Well just a little while ago, I went to wake her up for an early suhoor and I just found a note. Saying that she is leaving home. She said she wants to kill herself ever since we decided that we are going back to our home country to get her married. She never even told us she did not even like the idea. We would have considered if she did. But she didn’t! And she said she will kill herself if we try to call her back…” Rafiyya started weeping anew at the end of the story.

“Oh dear! I’m so sorry. Kids these days! They don’t realize when we do something for their own wellbeing. Don’t worry Rafiyya. I’m sure the police will find out soon where your daughter is, In Sha Allah. It hasn’t been long since she had gone has it? So the chances are good.” Waleeda began comforting her friend, talking to her and wiping away her tears. Alaya thought that would be the end of her mother’s conversation with that women but it didn’t happen. She kept saying words of condolence. How does she even keep up with that for so long? Alaya thought. She looked at Asma who had the similar kind of empathy towards that

‘aunt’ of theirs. But Alaya did not feel even a bit of empathy. That’s perhaps not something she has learned to have. All she cares about it herself. And that realization made Alaya feel extremely bad at the moment. So she slowing started taking steps backwards into the street. And eventually she ran towards the house and into it.

Thankfully when Alaya got in the living room, dad and Liam were in Maaiz’s room because, as Alaya could here, the boy had started coughing again due to the flu he has had for a week now. Not feeling the need even to check on her own nephew, she passed by his room towards hers, got in and locked the door. She got on her bed and plugged her ears with headphones and blasted them with music in hope of getting all of tonight’s thoughts away from her head.

But they came rushing back, the moment she woke up the next day. She didn’t have school that day since it was a weekend and the next time she had to go to school was only for the exams. She couldn’t concentrate on her studies because of how disturbed she was, by what she heard last night. But why was she disturbed? She wasn’t feeling sad for the girl neither for the family. But she felt extremely uneasy about it for reasons she couldn’t figure out. Was it that her mom was constantly talking about it from outside her room? Or was it that the girl’s story was quite familiar to hers? Being forced into a marriage? And fleeing from home because of it?

The last question sent shivers down her spine. Yes she was being ‘forced’ into a marriage. But what will she do as a result. Will she flee from home just like that girl? Or will she be FORCED to flee from home because of that marriage?

Alaya didn’t know the answers to any of those questions. Just like every other time, she needed to talk to someone about her thoughts. She wanted to let it out. And the only person she could trust to have a conversation with at that point was Lilly. Because it was apparently Lilly who was the only sane person in her life who could truly understand and connect with her.

So Alaya found herself on a bench of a park with Lilly that afternoon. She spilled all the beans to Lilly along with the questions that were running in her head.

“Oh boy what a life you have Alaya! You face trouble, along with a practical example of how you should face it!” said Lilly.

“What do you mean?” asked Alaya.

“Do I seriously need to explain this to you Ally? You just told me yourself. That girl was forced into a marriage just like you are! And how did she solve the problem? She fled from home!” said Lilly.

“I can see that Lilly but……don’t you think that it’s too much for me to do? Like lying to my parents, blackmailing them and running away? I think I can still talk them through this whole engagement with Layaan thing…”

“Oh you still do? While your mom said that the marriage is still going to happen? That you are still going to meet Layaan when you clearly said you don’t want to? And on top of that your sister has said that it is IMPOSSIBLE to undo this engagement? Wake up Alaya!!!” Lilly exclaimed and Alaya could not say anything. She did not know what to say and wasn’t sure how she even felt. Was she really falling prey to an old tradition as her friend has been warning?

“Look Ally….you are just scared. Because you always stay away from risks. You are the one who never applied to be the president of student association because you were scared of responsibility. You were the one who stayed away from prom for so many years because you were scared your family will find out. You are the one who barely talked to boys because you feared your father might ground you for life! But as I always say Alaya, you cant always stay in fear. You need to take chances. And then only will you see a change in your life.” Lilly said and Alaya still did not have words to express what she felt. But she knew one thing for sure. Lilly was right. She was always scared. Scared to take any chances. And perhaps that’s what kept her from living her life to the fullest till this point in life. Once again, a sense of rebellion started building in Alaya’s heart. She completely forgot what happened the last time she took a chance like that. She almost got humiliated in public by a bunch of drunk high school guys. And yet again she was ready. Ready to go against her parents. Because they were hindering her ‘freedom.’

“But I’d tell you this as well Alaya. First check out this Layaan guy for once. Tell me about him too so we could swoon over him or curse him together. If he’s hot then well and good. Otherwise, we are going according to plan flee!” Lilly said and Alaya looked at her this time and nodded with a smile.

A tall figure walked across the massive departure in Cairo International Airport. The muscular man’s green Van Heusen shirt was tucked loosely to into his denim jeans. Many looks of young girls were thrown onto him as he walked by. He got out of the departure towards the flight that was getting filled with many other passengers. As he walked with a backpack on one shoulder, his phone rang. The word ‘dad’ had appeared on screen as he looked. He answered the phone while walking.

“Hello dad! On my way towards the flight.” he said.

“Excellent my boy. Alaya should be waiting for you now.” the dad said from the other side.

“That is bound to be…..if the cow boy is taken care of properly.” the man reaching the steps of the flight said.

“No need to worry about him. He is right under our footsteps.” the dad said and he shared an evil laugh with his son.

May 11 2021

How dramatic that was! Alaya thought as she sat in the bus looking at the magazine in her hands. The bold title on the page she’d opened read, “Interview with the richest business tycoon in Egypt – Raphael Hamidh.” And the picture below showed the face that swept away Alaya’s feet years ago. He looked more handsome than ever before. With his bold eyes staring right at her and square jawline more well-defined than she could remember.

Alaya lost herself in the picture for a few seconds but quickly got to the text underneath as it occurred to her that it was his interview. She was not much of a reader but she started to read the page at lightening speed. Raphael had told the interviewer about his business plans which were quite the same ideas that he had shared with Alaya almost a decade ago. His words made Alaya realize how much he has learned and progressed in life. By the end of the interview, interviewer had asked a question that made Alaya catch her breath. He was asked about his family.

“My mother died when I was 16. So it’s just my father with me now.” those were Raphael’s last words recorded in the interview. The article concluded by adding that he was also asked about his relationship status but he had refused to answer. It also added that rumours say that he is happily married with an Egyptian girl.

Alaya’s eyebrows crossed as she read the last sentence. Egyptian girl? For a moment Alaya imagined herself as that Egyptian girl. But how silly of her! If she was, she would probably be in a 5 star hotel room with her scrumptious breakfast served in bed. Along with Raphael on her side of course but no! She is here in a sodding bus on her way to go to the last day of high school. And the fact that ‘the Egyptian girl’ from the rumours was not her, made her chest tight. One could argue that her relationship with Raphael was nothing more than puppy love but now that she thought about it, she realized that Raphael was one of the most sensible boys she has ever met in life. And that is the kind of person she’d like to have not as a boyfriend. But as a life partner. Alaya would love to see the girl that has taken the position that possibly she could have had. Not to congratulate her but to slap the smirk off of her face by letting her know that she was the one who was with Raphael way before her.

With the intense scenes of revenge building up in her mind, Alaya closed the magazine, coming to the realization that she was not being reasonable. She can’t blame anyone for whatever has happened except for herself. If she had told Raphael about her feelings, she wouldn’t be hearing ‘rumours’ about Raphael’s marriage. Alas! What’s done is done! It can’t be changed. If he is married, then so be it. For all she knew he might even have a baby with another one on the way by now. Who cares? Even she’d have a successful career and get married to a New Yorker pretty soon. And Raphael would hear about it.

Trying to be optimistic, Alaya took out her sunglasses and wore them. To forget about the nonsense on her mind, she kept the magazine on the side, took her phone out to take a selfie. As she switched to the selfie camera, she saw her face, half shining due to the sunlight. She pouted her lips as usual and took the picture. When she was done, she took a close look at the picture. As she looked, she remembered a conversation she’d had with Raphael.

“You know why I don’t wear sunglasses?” Raphael had asked.

“Why?” asked Alaya, walking along with him.

“It makes me look like a blind man lost on the road….” Raphael said, and then acted like an old blind man by narrowing his eyes and talking in a shaking voice.

Alaya could not help but smile as memories of that day filled up her mind once again. She slowly took off her glasses, with her smile fading, as a fear crept into her heart. What if moving on from her lost love life does not turn out to be as easy as she thought? If it isn’t easy for her, will it be difficult for the one on the other side of this relationship as well? Alaya kept thinking about it till the end of her long trip.

“Sir, was I called?” said a young man who entered a cabin with a door labeled as ‘Raphael Hamidh – CEO’. The young man saw the one he was working for, with his back towards him as he was facing the large window that showed the landscape of New York.

“Sir?” the young man called again, as his boss did not respond the first time. The second time, he turned around to look at his secretary. As the day was ending, he looked informal with his suit taken off and the sleeve of his shirt rolled up to his elbow. He looked tired and exhausted, perhaps because of all the work. But the slight pain on his face told a different story. It was a daily mystery that has always being a hot talk among his employees. Even when Raphael began walking towards his secretary, the young man looked at him intently, in hope of getting the slightest of hints on what was going on in his life.

As Raphael walked up to his table, he took a folded paper and handed it over to his secretary who was nearby.

“Get it framed.” Raphael said. The secretary unfolded the paper as he was given the order. It was a stunning sketch of his boss.

“What is this, sir? This is absolutely amazing! Who made it?” the jolly secretary asked.

“Just…..get it….framed!” Raphael did not happen to like the question. Sensing the irritation from his boss, the secretary immediately responded and rushed towards the door.

Alaya could not bring her thoughts under her control even as she crawled on her bed to sleep that night at around 11 o’clock. She just could not believe how impossible it felt to get over those feelings. It shouldn’t even be a big deal. People don’t remember their first crushes because they are just accidents. Or are they?

Alaya brought her pillow to her face and pressed it tight out of irritation. She needed to talk to someone or else she would be sent to a mental asylum before she knew it. Alaya got up and sat straight on bed and took out her phone to dial Lilly’s number. But just then, she remembered the conversation she had with Lilly just that day.

“So what if Max was trying to get close to you Alaya? Wasn’t that the whole point? Let alone Max, even I was very upset when I got to know that you let another guy humiliate Max and you simply ran away with that stranger…” Lilly had said. They argued on the matter for a long time but as usual, fixed their relationship at the end because both of them knew they’d been for each other too many times. Lilly said that she understands that Alaya finds it difficult to break away from her ‘traditions’. But Alaya knew that it wasn’t just her ‘traditions’ that was stopping her from being shameless. There was something more. Though she did not say that to Lilly.

Remembering that conversation made Alaya realize that Lilly may not understand her even in this situation. She might make her feel worse by telling her how she should have proposed to Raphael. She needed someone who’d make her think about it from a different perspective. Thinking of which, only one name came to her mind. Asma! Yes! Her beloved sister who has drifted away from her might be able to give her some insight into her situation. She had to talk to her. Right now! But how? Alaya thought for a while as she could not just walk into Asma’s room like before as she was with her husband. Geez! How things have changed since they last talked.

After about a minute Alaya decided to give a call to Asma, without much hope of getting an answer. But within two rings, she heard her sister’s sleepy voice.

“Salaam. Who is this?” Asma asked.

“Hey Asma, Alaya here! I really need to talk to you right now. Can we meet in the living room if…..you aren’t busy or something?” Alaya asked nervously.

“Ok…I’m coming.” Asma said, without even asking a question. Such a darling! Alaya thought as she thanked her.

Within a minute or two, the two sisters in pyjamas were in the living room, sitting next to each other on the sofa.

“What is it that you could not hold till morning? It better be good.” Asma said, with her eyes that were still sleepy.

“It is….well not good exactly but I really needed you. It’s just…..remember the crush I told you about when we were little? Back in Egypt?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Well it wasn’t a crush on Layaan. I liked some guy from our neighbourhood.”

“Who?”

“Raphael Hamidh….the guy who used to milk the cow. The boy from the home where the old man sat on a wheelchair. We met on the street and our relationship grew overtime. I never got to tell him that I liked him. But I think he likes me too. I was so afraid to tell you about him before because I thought you’d say he is too poor to be even liked by a girl with class. But now even you understand that dignity belongs to everyone dont you? And you know what? He is a business tycoon now too. He is worth millions of dollars I think. Isn’t that amazing?”

“And?”

“And….there are rumours that he is married now but I feel that he would still like me. And the rumours may not even be true. So I’d actually like to marry him if he is not married.” Alaya said, with her heart thumping against her chest as Asma looked at her with a facial expression that was hard for her to comprehend. But it was an intense look. A look that made Alaya feel that what was coming was not good.

And the fear came true.

“But that’s not possible now, Alaya.” Asma said, in a calm voice. Alaya looked at her with a start.

“Why?!” Alaya exclaimed.

“Because first of all, he might be married. Secondly, mom and dad have talked about your engagement to Layaan and it can’t be undone.”

“Of course it can! Why can’t an engagement be undone when you can undo even a marriage?” Alaya said, with anger building up inside her. Asma covered part of her face in dismay and let out a sigh.

“Look Alaya, I know this is hard. But you don’t know the full story behind this engagement. It can’t be undone due to our situation. At least not just yet. And I really thought you liked Layaan and that’s why I had not fought against it in the beginning. But now its too late. The only thing you could do now is go with the flow. Until you find another way out.” Asma talked as though she was telling Alaya the riddle of the century. She said those last words, got up from the sofa and walked away. What was that all about? Alaya thought. What was happening behind her back? Was she getting forcefully married like one of those Bollywood movies showing a real story? Was she getting stuck in a trap she’d never come out of?

May 11 2021

Alaya could not figure out how though. She was too young and immature to even the idea of ‘conquering one’s love.’ She’d asked her friends about it and they did give her some ideas.

“You’ve got to show him some signs, you know?” one of her closest friends had said, making it seem like it should be so obvious to her. But Alaya had no clue at all as to what those ‘signs’ were. Was it the way she walked past by him? Was it the way she combed her hair? Was it the way she looked? Was it by the way she’d start a conversation with him?

Alaya played out all those scenes in her head and found none of them working. It was impossible for her to imagine herself doing any of it with Raphael and getting any attention from him. Alaya thought that he was too mature of a boy to get carried away by such small things.

As a result, she hopelessly counted days while looking at Raphael from a distance. When she was just about to give up all hope about being with Raphael, something amazing happened.

It was one of those tiring first days after the weekend as Alaya dragged her feet out of the house. A few weeks after school started, her mother and grandmother decided not to look out for her anymore because clearly, she reached school every single day without getting eaten by a beast or whatever they assumed. So Alaya started walking to school on her own, with a backpack on one shoulder and a file in her hand that she took every day with her English worksheets. The file was quite a nuisance for Alaya that day since she’d just tucked all the recent worksheets into the paper file because she was just too lazy to punch and attach them neatly. As she was nearing Raphael’s house, Alaya wanted to look her best. For her, she looked best when she wore her backpack on both shoulders. So she reached out for the other shoulder strap and wore the bag as she usually does. In doing so, she didn’t realize that one of her worksheets had slipped out of her file. She was too busy looking at the closed door of Raphael’s house with the chickens and the cow doing their thing in front of it. She thought of waiting for him to come out but didn’t dare to do so thinking of what he might think of her.

So she kept walking, sighing gloomily as she walked past the door, being close to sure that she won’t see him today. But as she was getting near the gates of the school she heard a call from behind.

“Alaya! Wait up!!” Alaya stopped on her track as she heard Raphael’s voice, along with the sound of him making a run towards her. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw him getting closer to her as she turned around.

“Guess this is yours….I am so sorry that this happened. I came out of home to find the hens pecking on this. Is this important?” Raphael asked, as he showed Alaya her worksheet which was now all wrinkled and full of holes due to the feeding done by his hens. A shiver went down Alaya’s spine as she remembered her very strict English teacher. She was even more scared when she realized that the worksheet was supposed to be submitted for marking that day. It was not good! The teacher who always found Alaya to be careless was going to have the time of her life embarrassing her today.

“Alaya?” Raphael called her, as she stood silent. She spoke as she came to her senses.

“Yes! Yes it is important. I’m so dead!” Alaya said, covering her face.

“Well….you could tell your teacher what happened and ask for a copy.” Raphael suggested.

“I’ve done that way too many times with my lost worksheets before! Can’t bring myself to say it anymore!!” Alaya confessed honestly in worry. She could not even believe she just told the ultimatum of a responsible human being about how reckless she was.

“Oh! Then….maybe I could talk to your teacher about what happened. It was my fault anyway. Had I finished the cage I’ve been making for the ladies at home, this tragedy would not have happened. So I’m talking to your teacher. Who is it?” Raphael said comfortingly as he started walking with the paper still in his hand.

“Miss Fathima.” Alaya answered, as she walked with Raphael looking at him dreamily. She literally saw him nothing less than a prince charming at the moment who was rescuing her from an evil witch. It was a bit extreme to imagine Miss Fathima as a witch but overall the plot in her mind made her feel good.

“Miss Fathima…..must be the lady who could silent the Hulk!” Raphael said in a serious tone giving Alaya a sly smile. Alaya ended up laughing out loud at the unexpected humour.

“How’d you know my name by the way?” Alaya asked with a blushing smile. Raphael pointed at the line on the worksheet where Alaya had written her name.

“Guess the chickens did not like the flavor of that part.” Raphael said and Alaya ended up chuckling again.

That marked the beginning of Alaya and Raphael’s friendship. Raphael had talked to Miss Fathima in defense of Alaya as he promised. And he made sure Alaya got an extra copy though the argument did prolong. He exchanged smiles with Alaya as they went home at different paces as Raphael was in a rush to go to work. From the next day, Raphael coincidentally came out of home the moment Alaya reached his house. This ‘coincident’ started happening over and over and Alaya even started waiting for Raphael to come out on days he’d be late. Alaya found herself accompanying Raphael on the bench he’d sit alone. As they talked, Alaya realized how intellectual Raphael was, way beyond her expectations. He had a love for learning, unlike most popular boys who had either a love for fame or a love of test scores. He’d share with Alaya his aspirations of having a business.

“Starting a business is not that difficult if you think about it you see? It’s all about starting small and persevering even when you face a failure or loss. Just like in life, if you choose to be stuck with your thoughts in a loss, you will never move forward. But if you keep persevering in taking the right steps in doing the right thing, your heart will be fixed and it will be at rest. Just like Mama says. Shaithaan wants you to be stuck on your moment of weakness. But Allah wants you repent, be full of hope and move on.” Raphael had said. The last words he said made Alaya wince. She never thought she’d hear an ‘Islamic lecture’ from her soon to be boyfriend. But there she was listening to him.

Alaya thought of sharing that conversation with someone. But she did not want to tell her friends about Raphael as she was sure they would make fun of her for falling for Raphael. Her sister Asma would have a similar reaction as she looked down on anyone who was less fortunate than them. So Alaya just kept her relationship with Raphael to herself except for the part where she told Asma that she has a crush on someone without telling the guy’s name though Asma pleaded for long. Alaya bitterly thought of how even her father will not agree for her to marry someone like Raphael because he was way too low in his status. But Alaya became hopeful about the future every time she remembered Raphael’s plan. Every night, she’d imagine Raphael becoming a successful businessman one day and proposing her for marriage when both of them were ready for it.

Alaya only imagined the future, along with what will happen in the present. Raphael’s actions clearly told Alaya that he wanted to be close to her as well. The way he would voluntarily start a conversation with her, the way he’d wait for her at his home until she reached, the way he looked at her momentarily were enough signs for Alaya to be sure that it wasn’t a one-sided relationship. So Alaya waited. Waited for Raphael to confess first. Because that was the safer way and she was not one who’d take a chance of getting rejected.

However, an entire year passed without the climax to her love story. Raphael did not confess to her and neither did she find the courage to tell him how she felt. Alaya’s heart ached as she packed her things to go back to New York as her father found a new job. She hadn’t told Raphael about it because it was just too painful.

The entire family started their journey in a taxi towards the railway station. About an hour later, they were boarding on an old steam train. Alaya felt sick in the stomach as she got on the train, knowing she might never see Raphael again. As she took her seat next to Asma, she suddenly realized that she left her backpack on the bench. Telling her mother about it, Alaya rushed out of the train. As looked both sides and started walking towards the left, where she saw her bag on a bench, she saw none other than Raphael, who was walking hurriedly, looking through the windows of the train. Alaya slowed down absent-mindedly as she saw him and the same happened when he saw her. It took a few seconds for both of them to reach one another.

“You going?” Raphael asked, with a pain in his voice that was crystal clear to Alaya.

“Yeah…” Alaya whispered, hoping her tears won’t build up.

“You never told me.” Raphael said.

“I….was going to tell you but didn’t get the chance.” Alaya said.

“You are not coming back?”

“No….not until my father still has a job in New York. Hehe…”

“Oh…”

Silence fell between them. Neither knew what to say or do about the situation they were in. Just then, Alaya noticed a folded paper in Raphael’s hand.

“What’s that?”

“Its just a sketch you gave me. Thought of returning it to you. Actually it’s the reason why I came….” Raphael said, miserably trying to lie. He unfolded the paper and showed it to Alaya. It was a sketch of Raphael she made that she found quite funny. His nose was too big, eyes way too far apart. She’d shared it with him as a joke to laugh at.

“Hehe…..isn’t he pretty? You know what? You could keep it. Maybe one day you could publish that as your picture on the newspaper when you get famous. Or maybe I could make a better one for such a thing.” Alaya said the last sentence hesistantly, as she still hoped to see Raphael in the future.

“Yes you could. I’d give the international bestselling artist a call. Make sure you remember to give the old friend a discount!” Raphael said and Alaya ended up laughing. Just then, they heard the sound of the train and both of them looked in that direction.

“Gotta run! Goodbye Raphael…” Alaya slowed down, as she was just about to rush and realized these might be the last words she’d say to Raphael.

“Bye Alaya.” Raphael said and the train chooed again, slowly starting to move. Alaya ran towards the bench, fetched her bag and got on the train from one of the compartment doors. She looked at Raphael as the train moved and he got further and further away from her. She kept looking, until he was completely out of her sight and her heart sank in sadness and regret. She regretted everything she held back all of a sudden. How she held back from properly saying goodbye to Raphael. How she held back from telling Raphael that she was going beforehand. How she held back from confessing her love to him. What had she done?

*******************************************************

Message of the chapter:

“Shaithaan wants you to dwell on your moment of weakness. Allah wants you to repent and move on.” – Anonymous

May 11 2021

It was the first week of September and the first day of school for 10 year old Alaya who had just moved to Egypt from New York. She had grunted at every step she took away from New York towards her home town but had no choice because her father was apparently going through a financial crisis. Her father had lost his job during the downsizing of the company he was working in. Since they used to live in a rented apartment in New York for which they could not pay anymore, Mahmood decided to come back to Egypt where he could shelter his family in his father’s house. Everyone in the family including Mahmood was saddened by the decision. Except for Waleeda.

“This is the best decision you could make! I mean…..look at what New York has done to these two stubborn heads. Living with their grandparents should teach them something. If you asked me I’d tell you to keep us in Egypt till they get married.” Waleeda had said during the last dinner they had in New York. Asma and Alaya had shouted out ‘NO!’ the moment she ended the last sentence.

Asma and Alaya’s angry faces remained the same until the very first day of school. Asma was lucky to be older at the time and to be able to have her hair styled and do make-up for school as she wished on her own despite all the mumbo jumbo that their mother and grandmother were saying. Alaya on the hand, was all out of luck. She was forcefully showered and groomed by her not so graceful grandmother who called Alaya her ‘baby girl’ and was obviously considering her a baby who did not know how to do anything. When she was in her white uniform with a black skirt and a small black tie around her neck, her hair braided to two sides and her face looking almost white due to the powder, Alaya looked at her reflection in the mirror, wanting to explode. She had never gone out of home like this, let alone go to school.

Nonetheless Alaya was relieved when her mother stopped her grandmother from walking her to school since the school was just a few blocks away. With a huge sigh of relief, Alaya started walking, fully aware that her mother and grandmother were watching her from a distance. And knowing that they would be looking until she entered the gates of her school. Alaya liked it that way because she would not want to be alone on a road that appeared so strange to her except for some students in uniforms walking in the same direction as hers.

The area was a poor street that was made by not so attractive houses on either side. Most houses were either poorly built or half way done. Every other house had sheep, hen or other domesticated animal that could earn the family an income. Having lived her whole life in luxury, Alaya felt sorry for all the families that lived in those houses. She particularly felt sad as she came across a short two story building, with its light yellow paint peeled off a great deal. An old man sat on a wheelchair feeding some chickens in front of him. There was a cow on the side that was tied to a wooden pole nearby. The cow was feeding on a bunch of green vegetation kept in front of it.

Terrified when the cow mooed all of a sudden, Alaya started to walk faster. But just then, she heard the voice of a young boy from near that house.

“I’m going Baba….just gave medicine to Mama.” the boy said, walking out of the house and speaking in the kind of pure Egyptian Arabic Alaya rarely hears. The boy wore a white uniform with trousers. The badge of the uniform and the black tie gave away that he is going to the same school as Alaya. But unlike Alaya’s off-white uniform, his uniform had a dull colour. As though the uniform is a few years old and the family could not afford a new one. He wore a black side bag on one shoulder that looked heavy and only looked suited for luggage.

“Take care son, study well. What about Mariyam?” the man on the wheelchair asked.

“Didn’t get the time to milk her as Mama wanted me to stay with her today. Will milk her when I get back In Sha Allah.” the boy said, bidding goodbye to his father. Just then, a group of young boys almost the age of that boy walked by him laughing out loud.

“Aww…..Mama’s boy does not get the time to give his love.” one of the boys said in an insultingly mocking voice. The boy looked back once but kept walking.

“No you silly! He must have spent last night with Mariyam!” another boy in the group said.

“No wonder he smells like her too. They’d have a baby pretty soon. The name would be something like, Moomoo Raphael Hamidh.” the third boy continued the joke and just then, the cow mooed from behind them and they all burst out in laughter.

Alaya looked from the boys back at Raphael who was still walking way ahead of them. Alaya was sure that Raphael would hear them yet he did not look back. This made Alaya stare at him with awe. She never saw anyone being made fun of without them answering back or taking revenge. Alaya almost stopped walking and kept looking at Raphael awaiting his response. But he didn’t. He did not look back and quietly walked through the gates of the school.

From that first day, Alaya uncontrollably kept a close eye on Raphael. It was easy for her as she goes in the afternoon session, same as Raphael. It didn’t take long for Alaya to realize that he was in 7th grade and neither to know that he was one lonely boy. Alaya never saw him talking to anyone. Nor did she see anyone trying to talk to him. He’d usually be found in class, or on an empty bench of the corridor, reading a book. The hearsay around the school made Alaya realize that no one ever wanted to be associated with him, because of how much he was made fun of. Everyone, including the friends Alaya made looked down upon him because of how he could not afford what everyone else could.

But Alaya saw him in a completely different light. The day she heard that his father lost the ability to walk and his mother got paralyzed due to an accident broke her heart. He was working with the animals at home and in a garage a few kilometers away from home just to buy medicines for his parents and sustain his family. All of it, while attending school and its workload. Alaya was sure that the ones making fun of Raphael would not be able to do a fraction of work he was doing day in and day out. That made Alaya see Raphael in a high regard.

The high regard did not take long to turn into an infatuation. Alaya had just started having those feelings towards the opposite gender and Raphael’s looks were heightenedly attractive to Alaya. His green eyes, dark brown hair, artistic eyebrows and manly physique made Alaya seriously wonder why he never had a girlfriend. Was it only her who could see the beauty in him?

Alaya was not sure. But she knew she wanted to talk to him. That she needed to find a way. To conquer her very ‘first love’.

May 11 2021

It was half past 11 when Alaya reached home. She felt exhausted as she closed the door of the taxi and turned towards her house. Not once did the thought of that stranger leave her mind during her long ride home. But she was forced to forget, as she saw the door of her house. Through the windows on the side, she could see that the lights were still on. A fear crept into her heart when she remembered the lie she had told her dad. Group study at Lilly’s place. Dad can come pick her up at 10. Goodness! He must have called her a million times by now. Alaya looked for her phone in her handbag. It was way deep under all the other stuff and when she took it out it was sticky. It took Alaya a while to realize that it was her leaked lip gloss. Disgusted at her clumsiness, she unlocked her phone to find 13 missed calls from her Dad. Shit! This was it. This was Alaya Mahmood’s end and she hasn’t even written her will. What was she going to do? There was no way she was entering that house. To face her furious Dad’s face in a maxi dress! No way! She has to find another way out.

As she was thinking of another way, she heard a cat’s meow from right side. When she looked in that direction, she saw her nephew’s pet, Larry. She saw the old white Larry walk to the back of the house. That was it! If she was lucky the back door might still be open! Alaya quickly scurried behind Larry towards the backyard. As she reached the door, she let out a sigh and made a silent prayer. Larry meowed once again for her to open the door. Alaya reached for the knob, turned it to see that the door was unlocked. Her heart filled with gratitude when she saw the dark kitchen with no lights. Larry ran into the kitchen and got in his basket near the counter when Alaya got in the kitchen, closed the door behind her and walked through the kitchen with the help of the flashlight on her phone. With silent steps, Alaya walked through the corridor of rooms in her house and got startled when she heard her father’s voice.

“Hello sir! We need a little help….our daughter has gone missing and we can’t even contact her.” Alaya’s eyes grew wide when she heard her father speak. Is he calling the police? Or a group of hooligans with tracking intelligence? Who knew? She gotta hurry! Alaya quickly slipped into her room silently closing the door and she changed her dress into her pajamas as if it was an international changing marathon. She was literally out of her room in less than 3 minutes.

“Dad!!!” Alaya called out loud going into the living room as she caught her breath.

“Alaya when did you come back?” Mahmood asked in a concerned voice as he walked up to Alaya.

“I…was back at around 10:30 or 45 in Lilly’s car. Didn’t see you or anyone around so I thought everyone slept. So didn’t bother disturbing you. Hehe…” Alaya said, laughing nervously and praising herself for the reasonable story she made on the spot.

“Really dear? I was out the whole time but had to go in to search for my phone. It was perhaps around that time. You could have informed me darling I wasn’t even able to call you all this time.” Mahmood said.

“Oh my phone was switched off and I just switched it on. Was studying a bit even after coming home.” Alaya said, seriously considering the fact that people might inherit traits from their best friends. Because lying was never her thing until now.

“Oh….I was so worried about you dear. Hadn’t told anyone else that I didn’t know where you were. Your mom would have gone out of her mind if she knew. Please keep us informed of where you go and when you come back will you darling? I had all kinds of crazy thoughts. Like you were kidnapped or something.” Mahmood said.

“Don’t worry dad. I’ll never do that. Will always keep you informed of where I am.” Alaya said.

Mahmood smiled at Alaya and bid her goodnight. Alaya went in her room and lay on her bed, contemplating everything that has happened in this happening night that came to be in her not-so-happening life. She thought of how she had gone to prom for the first time in her life. And what happened at the prom made Alaya consider for once that her parents and her sister might be right. Maybe prom wasn’t a good thing for her. She’d never want to go to a place like that ever again. Never! But the memories of that stranger made Alaya’s heart beat a little faster. Who could that be? Was that in fact the man from her dreams? Could he be “the one” made for her? Will she be ever able to see him again?

That question that popped in her mind then again reminded her of her sketch. She was so disappointed when she came home to find that her sketch was no longer in her file. She’d thought of making such a sketch again but hasn’t found the time due to exams. Oh well! If she can’t see him from a sketch, she’d rather see him in a dream. Hugging her heart shaped pillow against her chest and smiling, Alaya closed her eyes in hope of seeing that face again.

The next day, Alaya woke up with that same smile. Not because she saw the man in her dream but because his memories both from her dream and real life were so beautiful. No matter what anyone else might say, Alaya convinced herself that the man who saved her must be the man from her dream. She was making up a whole story in her head where one day he would come and say that he loves her so much. And he would confess that was the reason he had saved her from Max. He’d say that she is the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen though he had seen many girls on his long drives on his Range rover. He’d come to meet her father to ask him for her hand and she would shyly agree to the proposal. They’d get married and still act like new lovers. All of it is just going to be so awesome! And for this awesomeness to happen, she needed to find him. She went to school that day, planning to share all of her feelings with Lilly and ask that detective friend of hers to find out about the guy for her.

But Alaya didn’t realize that Allah’s plans for her were more beautiful than even her own dreams. And that she didn’t need to force things in her life to happen, for them to come true.

That day, Alaya caught her bus at 7:15 as usual. She sat on the seat she normally sits and started searching for her headphones in her handbag. To her disappointment, she did not find them. Giving a huge sigh and cursing herself, she eyed around the bus. Just then, she saw a magazine on the floor of the bus right near her feet. She picked it up as an alternative to her playlist and flipped through the pages. She wasn’t paying attention until she saw a close-up picture of a man’s face, along with a bold title. Though Alaya was always one who’d eye and swoon over any man’s picture, it was not the picture that caught most of her attention. It was a name in the title.

“Raphael….” her breath paused as she whispered the name. Within seconds, memories from the past engulfed her.

May 11 2021

The gentleman who got off the Range rover was well-built and six feet tall. He wore a dark blue suit with a white shirt and a light blue tie. His formally combed dark brown hair was getting swayed due to the wind when he closed the door of his car. He walked forward with his black shoes finished to shine tapping on the concrete road. He stopped when he was just one step away from the sketch that was under his wheel. He waited a moment and bent down to get a hold of it. He pulled the sketch from under the wheel, being careful not to tear the masterpiece. He stood up with the sketch and took a good look at it. After a while, for some unknown reason, he folded it twice and tucked it safely into the inner pocket of his suit.

Alaya was not having a good day. Her frustration about going to the prom with Max didn’t happen to leave her even for a minute. She was thinking about it on her commute back home, while watching TV and while doing any household chore that her mother was asking her to do. She was seriously fed up of everything because of that one issue and all she wanted to do was lock herself in her room and give herself time to think about it. But Alaya didn’t get that chance because she was busy helping mom and Asma in the kitchen to get everything ready for Iftaar. She thought of telling Asma about it so many times but she knew what Asma would say.

“Alaya….do you think that’s the right thing to do?” Asma had said when Alaya had asked about having a boyfriend about 3 years ago. And Alaya could not answer that question. She wanted to say ‘yes’ confidently but for some reason she couldn’t. Somewhere deep inside her heart she felt that it wasn’t the right thing. And today, she was feeling the same way about prom. But she didn’t want to feel this way. She wanted someone to convince her that it was okay so that she could go without this ‘unnecessary’ sense of guilt imposed on her by her family.

She sought Lilly’s help to get over it. But it was helping only so much. Every time she called Lilly over the weekend, Lilly would tell her that it was okay to enjoy a little. That it was fine to go to the prom even with the hijab and no one would question about it. That she had the right to have the right man by her side who would love her and care about her.

“You’ve got to stop listening to those voices in your head Ally! Its all because of the tradition you were brought up in. They did this just to trap you in whatever decision they make for you. The talk about the marriage to that Layaan guy is just the beginning. Stop getting fooled Alaya. Stop losing yourself to them. You deserve better than that!” Lilly had said for the hundredth time in the last two days.

“I wish I could believe you Lilly…I really do. But I can’t get these bad notions out of my head! I think I need a counselor.” Alaya said, while she was at her study table grinding her mind about the prom that was going to happen the next day.

“Oh darling! You don’t need a counselor. All you need is a dance with the hottest guy in school. Trust me! I bought the dress for you as well. It’s a blue maxi and a brown headscarf, just like in your dream! And I bought a red one for myself to match the dream. Neil loves it too! Isn’t this just so exciting?” Lilly asked with her apparently heightened excitement. All Alaya can do is pretend to smile and mumble ‘yeah.’ She heard her mom calling from the kitchen at that moment.

“Lill I gotta go! Call you back later! Bye!” Alaya said.

“Bye….always remember Alaya. Don’t be fooled.” Lilly said, as her last words and clicked the phone. Alaya thought about those words with seriousness then got up from her chair when she heard her mom’s voice again.

When Alaya got the kitchen, Waleeda and Asma were working as usual. Alaya was given a utensil of vegetables to chop. While doing their own work, Alaya heard her mother and her sister talk about how much Quran they were able to recite within the past 2 days of Ramadaan. Asma even talked about the ayahs of the Quran that she learned the meanings of, but Alaya paid little attention. Alaya wonders how Asma could talk about the Quran with such excitement. What was it about that book in Arabic that intrigued her? Asma often says that maybe one day even Alaya would see the beauty in it and fall in love with it. Alaya highly doubts that she’d ever even recite it on her own good will.

“The ayah about finding coolness of the eyes in our spouses and our children is very beautiful Subhaanallah! The ayah comes in the form of a dua doesn’t it? Alaya dear you better learn it and start saying it often. It’s about having a good family that loves you and you love them back.” Waleeda said.

“Why would I say the dua about having good spouses and children?” Alaya said, with Layaan’s name in the corner of her head.

“Hehe…silly! Didn’t you hear your father talking about getting you married?” Waleeda asked.

“But you said that was a joke!” Alaya said, looking up and stopping her work.

“Oh! But that wasn’t. We saw you were a little disturbed with it but dear! He really is a good guy.”

“Good guy? Who? Layaan?!”

“Well we thought you liked him from childhood.”

“No I didn’t!”

“But Asma did tell me about you having a crush on a boy that one year in 5th grade you spent in Egypt.”

“What?!”

“So you don’t remember?”

“Mom…seriously I feel like choking to death right now! You are fixing my marriage to a guy, who I haven’t seen for ages just on the assumption that I had a crush on him while I was in 5th grade? What do you think I am? Just a grown child with no change of emotion?” Alaya asked, enraged to the point her face was reddened. Waleeda and Asma looked at her in silence. After a while, Waleeda spoke.

“Well we can’t change the decision all of a sudden. We informed Layaan’s family and they have pre-poned their trip to New York to next week. Meet them and see what you think.” Waleeda said in a calm voice.

Alaya gritted her teeth in anger. She couldn’t believe her ears. Lilly was so right! She was being fooled. She was being manipulated. Just so she did not come in the way of her extended family’s decisions. Alaya stood up and started to walk away. A sense of rebellion building up inside her. Refusing to even consider that her mother was doing it, in hope of finding the right man for her just like her friend. Giving a blind eye to the fact that her mother was actually giving her a choice just now. Not realizing that it was her mom who was always there for her even before her best friend, who accused her own family of fooling her.

Alaya went straight to her bedroom and picked up her phone. At once she called Lilly. Lilly picked up the phone within seconds and answered.

“I’m going Lilly. Be here tomorrow night at 8. We are going according to the plan.” Alaya said.

The next night, the doorbell of Mahmood’s residence rang sharp at 8. Mahmood was reading an Islamic book when he heard the ring. Not finding anyone else in the living room at the time, he kept the book on a side table near the couch and went to open the door. Alaya was right behind Mahmood with a handbag filled with her make-up set and other cosmetics. A nervousness showed on Alaya’s face when her father opened the door.

“Hi Mr. Mahmood! Lilly here…..hope you remember me.” Lilly said, with a full smile on her face. She was still in one of her usual tops and jeans though it was almost time for the prom.

“Hi….you must be Alaya’s friend. What brings you here?” Mahmood asked.

“Um….Alaya and I planned to have a group study at my place. All our friends are already there and we were all waiting for Alaya. So I thought I’d just come by and pick her up from my car.” Lilly said with the kind of confidence Alaya always wished she had when lying.

“Oh…Alaya never told me about it.” Mahmood said, almost disappointed by the fact that Alaya didn’t tell him about the group study. When Alaya found Lilly getting stuck, she spoke.

“Dad I forgot to tell you. I thought you’d have to go to the masjid at this time. So I told Lilly to pick me up. It’s an all girls’ gathering dad. If you don’t mind….” Alaya said, with her hands and feet turning ice cold as her father looked at her. She expected him to shout out and say no. But….

“Yes dear you can go. I’ll just come by to pick you up at 10. Will that be ok?” Mahmood asked in a way that surprised both Lilly and Alaya. But they were both elated at the same time.

“Yes, yes dad that would be ok! Thank you so much dad!” Alaya said, walking upto Mahmood with a bright smile and then passing by him. As Alaya was about to go, Mahmood called Alaya out. Alaya turned back to face him.

“Take care, love.” Mahmood said, in the kind of loving voice that made Alaya’s heart melt. What was she doing? Turning her back to her dad by lying to him? While he ever did was care about her? What was she doing keeping him in the dark? How terrible of a human being can she turn out to be? Alaya thought as she started walking with Lilly. Once again, Alaya started doubting her decision. Was she doing the right thing?

The question was on Alaya’s mind even after she was in her attire from her dream and was on her way to the prom in Lilly’s car along with Lilly and her boyfriend Neil. Alaya could barely pay attention to any lovey dovey dialogues that were happening between them. A part of her wanted to go back. But the other half of her heart also wanted to rebel, be at prom and show what she was made of.

Since Alaya was completely at the mercy of her friend, she did not have a choice but to go with the latter choice. She was at the prom by 9. The hall was decorated for the event with red and white on the railing of the stairs. There were balloons of the same colour lying and moving on the floor as people moved. Through the dim red lights, all Alaya could see were students of her batch wearing maxis and suits. On the side of the hall Alaya saw a stall with quality shirts neatly folded on top of a long table. There were 4 staffs in green uniforms arranging them in front of a poster with a brand name that was not clear to Alaya due to the dim lights.

“That was the company I told you about Ally. Apparently they are advertising their cloth shopping mall. We better check out the stall when we have time. Oh! Here is Max!” Lilly talked and then exclaimed when she saw Max approaching. Alaya looked in that direction and was stunned for a moment. She couldn’t deny that Max looked good in his dark brown suit and trousers with a white shirt. The bow tie clearly told Alaya that Lilly had told him about the dream. Alaya should have been the happiest girl tonight, as Lilly said. But she wasn’t, for so many reasons. So she could only force a smile when Max smiled at her.

That wasn’t the only thing that went against Alaya’s dream that night. Everything that happened afterwards hit reality on Alaya’s face like heavy punches. Max had taken her hand without permission and danced with her to a song she did not like. His moves were unanticipated by Alaya and as a result, their dance was a mess. Alaya wanted to stop even before the song ended but Max forcefully pulled her closer and pressed his body to hers. Alaya realized that she did not want such a closeness from a strange man like this. Especially not in public. Max only left Alaya with the 5th song that ended and to Alaya’s surprise went to the bar with her hand still in his. Alaya was utterly disturbed at the smell of the drinks and being near to a place she’d never been before.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Max had asked. Alaya fiercely shook her head involuntarily. Max had a laugh and bought a drink for himself. It didn’t take long before Alaya realized that Max was a heavy drinker. Alaya had her mouth opened with he had 10 drinks in a row without even looking at her. A moment later his friends joined him and Max introduced Alaya to them.

“Meet my new hot girlfriend!” Max’s tone made Alaya realize that he was beginning to lose it. Alaya hated the way Max introduced her to her friends. She lowered her eyes in disgust and in shame.

“Well look at that cloth on her head. Why don’t you take it off Max?” one of Max friends, who also sounded high, spoke.

“Yeah, we’d like to take a look too. Do it Max!” the other friend said and Alaya’s heart stopped beating. She looked towards them and she saw three men, looking at her with smiles that sent shivers down her spine. She wanted to run but her feet felt stuck on the floor with fear. Max moved a step closer to her and raised his hand to reach for her hijab. Alaya closed her eyes tightly in an attempt to escape reality. As his fingertips were just about to touch the hijab, a drink was splashed on Max’s face from right behind Alaya. Alaya opened her eyes to the sound of cuss words being said by Max and both of his friends. Hearing the splash and seeing Max’s wet face made Alaya want to see who did it. But just then, the person held her hand with his fingers intertwined with hers and started walking out with her. When Alaya turned, she saw a man’s back with a black suit and trousers. Alaya’s heart began to race not being sure of what the man was upto. But for some reason, she was sure he wouldn’t hurt her. Perhaps because of what he did for her just now. And perhaps because of how loving and protective the touch of his hand felt. Wait…loving and protective? What was she thinking? About a complete stranger? Is she out of her mind? Or has this long night made her mentally ill? Alaya did not know any of it. All she knew was she could’nt pull her hand away from his. Neither could she find the courage to say a word.

The man took her out of the campus onto the road where there was a taxi. He reached out for the back door of the taxi while walking, opened the door and pulled Alaya towards the car. She wanted to look so badly but she lowered her gaze as she slipped into the car. Perhaps because she realized the mannerism of this unknown man. She didn’t dare look or talk. She could just abide by what he wanted her to do.

He closed the door of the taxi when Alaya took her seat. Alaya looked through the window as she saw his figure move towards the driver’s door. The driver pulled down the window and he showed a 100 dollar bill.

“Take her home.” he said, in a voice that brought goose bumps on Alaya’s skin.

“But I don’t have a change.” the driver said. But the man didn’t seem to care. He just walked past the taxi without saying another word. Desperately wanting to know who he was at that moment, Alaya peaked through the window and took a look at the side mirror. She saw the man walking towards the Range rover that was just behind the taxi. He got in the car and it came to life in an instant with its white headlights shining on the taxi she was in. Just at that moment, even her driver started the taxi and it began to move. Alaya’s heart sank, when the car behind took a U-turn and drove the other way while hers moved forward. Who was that perfect stranger? Alaya wondered, as she sank into her seat.

May 11 2021

Alaya tried hard to remember. She spent more than a quarter of an hour staring at her sketch, thinking where she could have seen the kind of charisma that she sees in front of her. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t figure out who it could be or where she must have seen him. It took her a while to come to terms with the fact that she might as well be imagining things. But even when she did, her heart won’t rest because she was close to sure that she must have seen him. For real.

Alaya’s phone rang while she was still lost in thoughts. With a sigh, Alaya put her sketch down and answered the phone the moment she saw Lilly’s name on screen.

“Hey Lill!” Alaya answered in a gloomy voice.

“Hey…..sorry if I disturbed your sleep Ally! But I called because it was an emergency. I just remembered that our damn unit exam on economics was pre-poned to today and I haven’t even touched my books. Do me a world of good and come to school early today can you love? It’s always easier for me when you explain.” Lilly said.

“Of course Lill, I will. Kinda surprised that Lilly Thompson forgot about an exam though. It’s not every day you hear such a thing.” Alaya said, genuinely surprised at what she had heard. Everyone in school could forget the date of an exam, but not a star student like Lilly.

“Well….you know how it is…I’m only human aren’t I? Hehe…” Lilly’s nervous laugh at the end and the change of tone in her voice made Alaya suspicious.

“What is it Lill? Are you trying to prank me or something?” Alaya asked.

“Nothing Ally its nothing. Really! I just need your help. Just be there around 7:30 ok? See ya!” Lilly said and the phone clicked before Alaya could say a word.

Alaya looked at her phone, puzzled. What was up with Lilly? Having known Lilly for more than 3 years, Alaya could trust her own instincts about her friend. So much so that Lilly can’t even plan a surprise party for her without her having hints about it. But what could Lilly be trying to hide from her today? If she remembered correctly, it isn’t her birthday today. Neither is it the first of April. What could be up? Alaya wondered.

Before she could think any further, she had a glance at the clock. Seeing that it was going 5 minutes to 6:30, Alaya rushed out of bed along with her pencil and sketchbook. She went to the study table in a hurry but as she kept the sketchbook on the table and she saw the man ‘looking’ at her, she slowed down once again. She looked at the sketch for a few seconds and then carefully tore the paper from the book and put the paper in her clear folder file, making sure that its hidden behind all of her other papers.

Not wanting to be late for the bus she had to catch at 7, Alaya took a quick shower and slipped into one of her typical tight long-sleeved tops and jeans. She wore a black shawl to match with her plain white top and black jeans. She looked at herself in the mirror, and smiled being pleased with how she looked. She knew how many of her friends were jealous of her hour glass shape and one of the intentions of wearing tight clothes was to rub it in their faces. And of course another, was to impress boys, though Alaya thought it was highly impossible being who she was, especially in a city like New York.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t beautiful. She was. With her heart-shaped glowing face, hazel eyes and naturally curled eyelashes, she did have the looks. In the past 16 years she spent in New York, there were guys who had crushes on her. Alaya got to know that many of them held back because they knew she was muslim due to her hijab. That made Alaya wish her parents hadn’t forced her to wear hijab a million times. She has had guy friends but the relationship would never go further than that. The American guys apparently never liked a muslim girl and she wouldn’t let the relationship grow either. Realizing that her father would kill her if he got to know. Being sure that the relationship won’t last because her parents would never even dream of her getting married to someone outside of Egypt. And thankfully she’d never been so emotionally attached to any guy though she found many of them cute and handsome. It was perhaps because of the distance she had always kept.

Nonetheless Alaya does want to have a relationship. She wants to do cute things with a guy and post pictures on Facebook with deep quotes about love. She wants to let her hair down and wear sleeveless dresses as she makes grand entries into parties with her man. She wants to go to the prom which is in 3 days from now, like everyone else. Alas! What a life she has. A life held back like a prisoner right in the middle of the epitome of freedom.

Putting her thoughts aside for the umpteenth time, Alaya wore her backpack took her file folder and walked out of her room thinking of breakfast. But realized she couldn’t as she heard her father reciting Quran in the living room. That was a tell-tale sign that it was a morning of Ramadaan and you can’t eat. Hating herself for not eating last night and blaming her entire family for it, Alaya headed for the door. She sensed her father looking at her but she didn’t bother to look back.

The bus had come the minute Alaya had reached the bus stop. She thought of calling Lilly to tell her she was coming but decided to do her own revision instead. She could only focus on her notes for about half an hour of the commute. In the other half, all she could do was look out the window with her daydreams about the future as usual. When the bus stopped near her high school, she got off and walked into the school’s campus. At that time, dead silence filled the campus and all Alaya could see were a few teachers walking by here and there. Alaya walked upstairs to the second floor and walked quietly to her class. She got to her class earlier than even their class teacher, Mrs. Meadows who would usually be doing any pending work until the students come at this time. She probably isn’t coming today, Alaya thought. She sat down on her usual seat and wondered about Lilly. As she picked up her phone to call her, someone entered the class.

“Uh! If it isn’t the beauty all by herself. Alaya! Whatcha doing?!” said Max, popularly known as the “blonde hottie” of the school. Alaya could accept that title for Max. To a certain extent at least. Max had a manly, tall figure with his muscular body starting to form due to him getting a membership in a gym just this year. Alaya could see his ice blue shirt tightly held against his growing biceps and chest. His hairdo was something he considered as his signature though Alaya has a serious assumption that it was taken from one of the Backstreet boys.

Max came closer to Alaya and took a seat right next to her. That disturbed Alaya as she usually doesn’t sit next to guys though she wanted. She had this fear deep embedded in her heart that her father might get to know though he might be kilometers away from where she is. Besides, she didn’t want to be seated next to Max. He might be a hottie from the outside but his personality was an immature, spoilt and pitiful brat.

“Feeling lonely much?” Max asked, when Alaya didn’t answer his first question. His second question irritated Alaya more than the first. How cheesy could a person get?

“Well I’m just waiting for Lilly. She needed my help for an exam.” Alaya answered in a firm voice, not wanting to carry the conversation further.

“Oh I see….so you are the smarter one huh? Beauty with brains! Such a rare thing to find these days…” Max said, shaking his head.

Alaya pressed her lips together trying to hide her smile. She may not like Max. But she liked being complimented. That was actually enough for her to start imagining Max might be “the one”. Though the fact that his personality makes her want to puke was still somewhere in the corner of her head.

“Heard about the prom?” asked Max, out of the blue

“Yeah…” Alaya answered, not knowing where this conversation was headed.

“You going?” asked Max, giving Alaya a deep look.

“No I’m not.” Alaya said, her heart beginning to race.

“Wanna go?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Wanna go….with me?”

Alaya looked at Max, startled with the last thing he asked. He was looking at her with a side smile and confident eyes. Alaya couldn’t say a word. She didn’t know what to say or how to react since this was the first time a guy was asking her out for prom. For anything in that matter. Her heart was thumping against her chest to the point she felt a tremble in her whole body. She wanted to say yes so badly. She wouldn’t turn down such an offer no matter who it was coming from. As long as she got to do what everyone was doing. Max taking her out to prom was not a matter that will end at the prom. Max was the most famous guy of the whole school. Every girl looks forward to go out with Max. And him asking her to go out with him to the prom might even mean he wants to get into a relationship with her. How in the world can she miss out on this? But remembering her father’s face kept Alaya silent for a whole minute.

“Hehe….you can take your time with the answer Alaya. You might be even surprised by my offer. But I’ve always liked you though I never got to say so. Shit! Was not going to say that so simply.” Max said shyly, moving his hand through his hair. Alaya laughed involuntarily.

“Say yes Ally say yes!!!” screeched Lilly who made an appearance in front of the door and was apparently listening to the whole conversation.

“Lilly! I was waiting for you and you…..you planned this whole thing didn’t you?!” Alaya said, with her eyes widened with the sudden realization.

“Yup! Now you know!” said Lilly.

“I’ll leave you two to it…hoping to get an answer soon Ally!” Max said, standing up and winking at Alaya. Alaya smiled, while being surprised at her unforeseen change of attitude towards Max. What was happening to her?

When Max left, Lilly sat next to Alaya and turned Alaya towards her.

“What are you waiting for Ally? Why didn’t you just say yes when Max was here? He told me to make this plan for you this morning. He said he has liked you for long but thought you’d never accept. But I told him all about you and that’s why he just confessed to you today. Why didn’t you answer?” Lilly asked repetitively.

“I don’t know Lill. I don’t know how to feel about this. I….” Alaya couldn’t finish her sentence.

“Look Ally, if its your dad you are fearing that don’t worry about it. I will make up a story to make sure you make it to the prom and this whole relationship with Max stays hidden. How long are you going to live in fear?” said Lilly.

Alaya could not say anything to that either.

“Think about it Ally! This is our last year of high school. If you don’t find a man this year, when are you going to? College is going to be one hell of a busy place. You are not going to find time for these things later on in life you know? And you will regret your whole life if you say no to the most famous guy in the whole batch you studied in high school with!” said Lilly.

“Maybe you are right Lilly. But I don’t really like Max as a matter of fact…he’s got a kind of attitude…”

“I know how you feel about that too. But I supported Max with this plan just as a first step for you to get out of your shell Ally. You can’t possibly live your whole life like this. You deserve to have the very best! But you have to start with someone less than perfect to eventually be with the one you love the most. Besides, there is no one who is perfect in real life is there? Just give this one a try and see how it works out for you. Who knows you might even meet another man you like at the prom. Just like in movies!” Lilly said, with a twinkle in her eyes giving Alaya a glimmer of hope.

“Hehe….Thank you for always being there for me Lill…speaking of another man, it reminded me of a dream I had last night.”

“What kind of dream?”

“Well….i think it was the prom I saw in the dream. There was a very handsome stranger who asked me to have a dance with him. And we did. So perfectly and beautifully. It just felt…..so right!”

“Whoa! Alaya….dont you think your dream has just come true?”

“How?”

“A handsome man, has just asked you out to have a dance with him at the prom. OMG Alaya you are the luckiest girl in the world!!!”

“Wait…what?”

“Max is the man in your dream and you are going to have a dance with him. Oh God I think I’m going to cry! I’m gonna call Max right now and you are taking this phone and saying you are going with him!”

“But….”

“No buts and no ifs just shush!” Lilly said putting one of her hands on Alaya’s mouth.

Alaya just kept on looking at Lilly as she made the call and told Max that Alaya had something to say.

“Just say it!” Lilly whispered holding the phone on Alaya’s ear. Alaya shook her head.

“Don’t be shy Alaya just say it!” Lilly said aloud so that Max could hear and Alaya is irritated. Lilly kept saying ‘just say it’ until Alaya was too annoyed to not get out of this situation.

“OK OK!!! I’m going with you Max!!” Alaya blurted out.

Lilly screeched with excitement while Alaya heard Max saying ‘really’ from the other end of the phone. Alaya reassured Max that she is going, while still having second thoughts in her mind. Max expressed how happy he was and clicked the phone saying he will see her there.

The second thoughts kept disturbing Alaya throughout the whole school day. Her hunger was less of a problem compared to the stress she was going through. How could she have accepted to go to the prom? What will happen when her dad gets to know? How in the world did she accept Max’s proposal? Is she that desperate of a girl to accept a proposal of any guy that came her way? Doesn’t she have any standards when it comes to choosing men?

The questions that ran through her head made Alaya feel terrible about herself. As a result, she walked out of the class without talking much to Lilly though her friend was talking to her non-stop. The one news that caught Alaya’s attention was that there was a company that was coming to advertise their product at the prom.

“The company is owned by some Egyptian guy. Its huge. I heard that it has branches that offer multiple services. Medical centers, shopping malls, restaurants, you name it! All of it owned by one guy. You never told me that Egyptian dudes were so rich, Ally.” Lilly said. Only if she got to know any Egyptian guy besides her cousins, Alaya thought.

Alaya departed from her friend at the bus stop. Lilly went home in a taxi while Alaya waited for her bus. It was cold and windy though it was the afternoon. Alaya still felt uneasy. Not just because of the wind. But also because her heart kept saying that Lilly was wrong. Max is not the man from her dream. He isn’t even close. He doesn’t even look like him.

That thought reminded Alaya of her sketch. She had the sudden urge to take a look at it. So she opened her folder that had started ripping from the side. If she wasn’t holding the file properly, the papers would fall any minute. But just the moment she opened the file, a girl who walked by her bumped into her and all the papers fell on the pavement. Just at the second, Alaya heard and saw the bus approaching. In a hurry, Alaya bent down to take all of her papers. But many of the papers were flying away with the wind. Alaya took hold of as many papers as she could and stood straight as the bus stopped. As she got on the bus, she looked back to see the papers she left and told herself she could get a copy of all of it. She was happy not to find her sketch on the floor and dearly hoped she had taken it with her.

But Alaya was wrong. Her sketch was there, near the pavement. She hadn’t noticed because it was upside down. It turned to the right side as the bus rushed just an inch away from it and moved to the middle of the road. Just then, a black Range rover drove by and stopped just at the moment its wheels touched the corner of the sketch.

May 11 2021

“May I have this dance, miss?” asked the gentleman who held out his hand for Alaya. Alaya’s heart skipped a beat as she saw the man who stood quite close to her. The green eyes and the thin lips with a light smile made her weak in the knees.

“Go Ally go!” whispered Lilly who stood right by Alaya. Alaya felt something in her stomach. Was it the strange drink she was holding? Or was it the butterflies? Alaya wasn’t sure. But she was sure she had to take that hand. Especially when the man was wearing a black suit and trousers with a bow tie around his neck and looked straight from a 90s movie, when chivalry was still a thing.

Next thing Alaya knew, the man took her hand and for some reason her drink disappeared into thin air. The man pulled her to the middle of the dance floor and Alaya found herself smiling as she saw the man doing the same. As a new romantic song played in the background, Alaya surprised herself with her own dance moves. When did she learn how to dance with a man so flawlessly? It was then that she realized that even her dress was as gorgeous as that moment. Her blue maxi dress matched with her brown headscarf. Perfect! And what was that song playing in the background? It sounded nice but she didn’t know its name. As she was thinking about it, the man pulled her close as a move to perfectly match the vibe of the song. She felt safe in his strong arms as he pulled her close. Who was this guy? What was his name? His handsomeness or something? Whoever it was, he was making her feel good, Alaya thought as she rested her head on his chest with her eyes closed. Then he called her with an ever so calming voice. Then he called her again. Then again.

***

“ALAYAAAA!!!”

Alaya woke up with a start with the sound of her room’s door been thrown open against the wall as her mom roared. With an instant, all the lights were on and Alaya narrowed her eyes to the point that they were almost closed again.

“How many times do we need to call you young lady? We were about to call the police in case of a suicide!!” Waleeda said, in her habitual sarcasm.

“Mom stop overreacting! And for God’s sake its 3 in the morning. Why in the world would you wake me up like this at this time?”

“Seriously Alaya! Didn’t think you had the memory of a goldfish. It’s the first day of Ramadaan. Now stop the sulking, get yourself out of bed and come out to eat!”

Waleeda said and left the room. A sudden surge of bad feelings made Alaya feel sick to the stomach. Ramadaan! Huh! Kudos to the month that ruins her sleep, her diet, her shape, her everything. And then they display this as “the happiest month of muslims” in an ever so joyous poster with bearded men eating dates or a muslim couple looking at the moon with a small kid. She doesn’t see any of that making any sense. In what sense could this be ‘happy’? Being woken up while she was in a deep sleep in her comfy bed? That thought made Alaya feel the softness of her bed a little too much. With eyes getting heavy, Alaya closed them again. Within seconds, she fell back on her pillow. Not a minute had gone by and her annoyance came back with her mom’s voice from the outside. She squeezed her eyes, grunted and got up accepting her defeat.

She went to the bathroom to freshen up before going out to her younger brother, who would ‘eeeewww’ at every little untidiness. Not being in the mood to argue with him, or to go out so early, Alaya took her time brushing her teeth and washing her face. While brushing, the thoughts of her dream came rushing to her mind. She ended up smiling thinking of it. Who was that guy? She thought, for the first time in real life. His face was so clear to her in her dream but right now she was having a hard time remembering. That made her heart hurt. How could she have forgotten such a handsome man? If only she could see him again. Maybe she would, if she slept again. Like another episode of a series as her best friend Lilly says. Oh well! But she wouldn’t want to be woken up by her mom again even if she did catch the next ‘episode.’ So better get this midnight eating done with to go back to sleep. Alaya hurried out of the room still the thought of that man in the back of her mind.

It was quiet in the dining room when Alaya reached there. The small dining table was full with her father at the head of the table, her 13 year old younger brother, Faris, her elder sister Asma and her husband Liam along with their 6 year old son Maaiz. As she was getting close to the dining table, Asma caught her eyes and gave her an ever so gracious smile. Alaya smiled back with bitterness. She had been close to Asma all her life until……..well until she started wearing those long black dresses along with her hijab. For God’s sake she was wearing one even at that moment when there was no stranger coming even from a mile away. Alaya couldn’t figure out what had happened to her sister about 7 years ago. She used to be such a cool young lady with top notch sense of fashion. Then she came back home one day, on a day of Ramadaan like this, saying that she wanted to ‘change.’

“Change?! What change?” Alaya had asked her, dumbfounded.

“Change….in a way that pleases Allah.” Asma said, in a voice that appeared so dramatic to Alaya that she almost laughed. But she couldn’t, seeing the seriousness on her sister’s face. And the seriousness with which she had brought the ‘change’ she told Alaya about. On that day, she started praying on time, fiercely reciting Quran every chance she got, memorizing it, helping mom, dad, Faaris and even Alaya in ways she wasn’t doing before and of course, wearing the black dress. She even stopped listening to music, watching movies and everything Alaya considered as ‘having fun’ and started watching Islamic lectures instead. At first Alaya had thought she was going through a ‘Ramadaan phase’ but no! The phase continued even after Ramadaan and it carried on until today upto 7 years. Now Alaya could be sure that she isn’t ‘changing’ from anything she has become today. So Alaya found herself being distanced from Asma. Because they don’t share the same interests anymore. Alaya’s favourite movies don’t interest Asma quite the same way Asma’s favourite lectures don’t impress Alaya. So they basically had nothing in common to talk about. Alaya can’t even talk about boys she was having a crush on with Asma because she would end up telling Alaya about ‘lowering her gaze.’ It was heartbreaking in the beginning for Alaya. She was losing her closest best friend. But now she found new best friends in high school and it’s cool with her to go by days without talking to Asma.

Alaya had a disturbed facial expression as she set at the dining table with those thoughts. Her father Mahmood noticed it and cleared his throat to get her attention.

“Anything worrying you, dear Alaya?” Mahmood asked with a kind smile.

“No dad….it’s nothing.” Alaya said, in all seriousness. She did not have a good relationship with her father either. In Alaya’s eyes, all her father did for her was restrict her. Quite the same way Asma has now “restricted” herself. But Alaya does not want to be restricted. She doesn’t want to be stopped. She wants to be free. Free from all the shackles that all her family members were supposedly putting on her. She wouldn’t be in the kind of ‘pathetic’ state her sister is in right now. Alaya looked at her brother Faaris who was sitting right in front her. Faaris made a face at her and Alaya made a face of her own.

“Dad I forgot to tell you….on my business trip back in Cairo I met Layaan, Asma’s cousin. He’s changed quite a bit. Apparently he’s a doctor now and works for a multi-million dollar company. He told me to tell you that he would be in New York within 3 weeks.” Liam spoke and Alaya wearily listened. It came to her as a surprise that the fat 10 year old kid she knew as a child was now a doctor. She wanted to ask a question but she did not dare. If she did, her parents would start fantasizing about her marriage to her cousin whom she hasn’t seen for years. The fear came true even without her opening her mouth.

“Oh is that true! How amazing Ahmed’s son turned out to be. He’s 26 if I mustn’t be wrong. Must be a good match for an older 19 year old don’t you think?” Mahmood said, winking to everyone hoping everyone gets the hint. Alaya tried to ignore and not say anything.

“Oh yeah it will be. And a sensible lad like Layan might even knock some sense into a 19 year old girl, what do you say Alaya?” Waleeda said, putting her hand on Alaya’s hand. Alaya looked at her mom, with anger building up inside her.

“Yeah I think he likes Alaya too. He asked me about her.” Liam said to Mahmood.

“Weeheee Alaya is getting married!!!” Faaris sang along and Alaya just couldn’t stand it. With her face turning red with rage she stood up.

“STOP! JUST STOP IT! Dad I told you I’m not ready for marriage. I haven’t even graduated from high school! Seriously let me live my life!!!” Alaya spoke in an angry voice and that brought silence to the entire room. She looked at everyone’s face one by one. She looked last at Asma, who was the only one who had sympathy for her. But she did not need sympathy! Alaya told herself. Yes! She doesn’t need sympathy. Especially not from anyone in this family, who were trying to ruin her life. With that thought, Alaya turned her back to them and stormed into her room.

Alaya locked herself in her room. Few minutes later, her mom knocked on the door and asked her to open. Saying that dad was just joking. But Alaya couldn’t believe that. And even if she did she spited those ‘jokes.’ How could they talk about taking away all of her freedom? She heard all horror stories about muslim girls losing their own identity after marriage. Of course Asma’s story is not one of them. In fact Alaya envies the love Liam shows to her sister and she is happy for her every day. But in one sense she feels that Liam controls Asma as Asma always keeps Liam informed about her whereabouts. And Asma always asks Liam about the dress she will choose from a mall. Alaya never heard Liam tell her to do so but Asma does it on her own accord. But what if her husband-to-be forces that upon her? She can’t imagine living a life like that! Never!

As Alaya set on her bed with her face in her two hands, she heard the call of Fajr prayer from the Adhaan clock in the living room. Despite her hatred towards everything that her family was forcing on her, for some unknown reason she just can’t bring herself to miss any one of the 5 prayers. Even at that moment of negativity, she found herself getting up, going to the bathroom and making wudu. Within few minutes, she was on the prayer mat, folding her arms in front of her. She wasn’t thinking about what she was saying in the prayer, neither did she care know any of its meanings. She was reciting lazily, thinking about everything else except the prayer. All she could think of was how she could be free. How she could stand up for herself and be independent from her family. As she was thinking about it she was inspired to study hard like never before. That was it! She would study hard, get a scholarship from a university way away from her family and that would be her way to freedom! Positive vibes filled her heart as she ended the prayer. She hadn’t realized the harm hidden in the plan she made. She hadn’t realized that it was her parents’ hard work that brought her to a ‘free society’ like New York. She didn’t know that if only she gave a thought to the words she was reciting in her prayer, her heart would have found rest. But she didn’t even know that was going to realize all of it in the near future.

Alaya couldn’t even sleep thinking about her plans. She started working on her assignments that she had been procrastinating on for so long. A feeling of accomplishment engulfed her as she finished a huge project even before sunrise. Praising herself for the work she did, Alaya decided to take a break. On her breaks, she would usually go on social media. But just then, her sketchbook and pencil on her study table caught her eyes and she changed her mind.

With the sketchbook and pencil, she got on her bed. She started sketching not necessarily deciding what she was going to draw at first. As the pencil made more sketches, it started to look like a face of a man. All of a sudden, Alaya felt a sense of excitement in her heart. All she could think of was the man she saw in her dreams. Maybe this was one way she could remember his face again! Alaya drew and drew fiercely and non-stop. About an hour later, Alaya took her pencil off her drawing and lifted the book to look at her sketch. There he was, with a light smile on his thin lips. With thick artistic eyebrows, long eyelashes and a look that can take anyone’s heart away. Alaya could not help but smile at her sketch. But her smile faded, as she realized that he was not quite a stranger. He looked familiar. For some reason…