“When Saba was with you, did she talk about Lagos Forensic Center by any chance?” Zayaan asked.
“La…. yes of course. She had gotten a scholarship from a university to study forensics, and she always said she would work at the Lagos center once she graduated. Why do you ask?” Heena asked and suddenly, Zayaan felt his heart beating the right way again.
“Is there perhaps a place she might visit when she felt lonely?”
“I’m not sure….. I guess there will be the places that she had listed down on her journal…”
“Where is it? The journal?”
“It will be in her room. What’s going on, Zayaan?”
Heena asked him. Zayaan didn’t answer that question either and instead, asked her to show Saba’s room. Heena showed him the direction to go and Zayaan walked in a fast pace in that direction. Heena looked at him go into the room, puzzled. She thought of asking him more questions, but she changed her mind when she realized that it will be a waste of breath. She sighed, thinking to herself that Zayaan might be having a moment because of the trauma he went through. She walked away, allowing him to engage with Saba’s memories for a little while.
But that wasn’t the only plan Zayaan had when he entered the room. For a few minutes he did indulge himself in the memories of Saba. Seeing the neatness of the room, the books on the study table and the indoor plant near the bedside reminded of the daily habits Saba used to have even when she lived with him. She would do a light clean up of her room every day, water the plant in the room and read a book related to forensics while taking notes on a binder book. She would also write on her journal before she went to bed every night telling him that it was everyone’s responsibility to take account of one’s deeds before they are held accountable on the Day of Judgement.
She hadn’t changed even a bit. Zayaan thought as he saw two binder books on the study table. Zayaan walked slowly towards it and opened the book on the top. As he had assumed, it had notes on forensics while there were textbooks on that topic in one corner of the table.
Zayaan ruffled through the pages before keeping the book aside. He then looked at the blue binder book that was under the book he had just taken. He slowly picked up the book to see a small title written with a black marker. It read, ‘Rethinking my future’.
Zayaan flipped the cover page of the book almost hesitantly, knowing what’s in it will hurt him. On the first page, Saba was trying hard to come to terms with the fact that he was no longer a part of her life. Even though they hadn’t divorced, Saba had written about how their relationship had come to an end. She wrote about how Zayaan will be getting married to someone else and that’s what she wished for him too. After some point, it seemed as though she was talking to him directly. Zayaan saw almost the exact words he had heard in his ‘dream’ on that journal.
Get married to a beautiful girl from your own ethnicity. That way, you will be safe and happy.
Zayaan let out a short sigh as he read those words. He didn’t even read further due to the sadness and a hint of rage he felt at those words. He flipped through the pages to find what he had taken that book for.
Before long, Zayaan found what he was looking for and he took pictures of the pages that he needed.
“I’ll get going now.” he said as he walked out of the room slightly giving a look at Heena who was coming out of the dining room into the living room.
As Zayaan was about to reach the front door, he was compelled to stop as it opened from the other side. He stood stunned when he saw a black man with beard, white shirt, and blue trousers. The man was as shocked as Zayaan too, which led to a moment of silence.
“Zayaan…” the man called out his name lovingly, which reassured Zayaan who the man was as he was reminded of that man’s kind demeanor. It was none other than Sameer, who looked at Zayaan with teary eyes.
“We didn’t hear from you for so long…. we were so worried about you. How are you now?” Sameer asked.
“I’m doing fine, Dad. I’m…. just so sorry for everything that happened. I should have taken better care of Sa…” Zayaan couldn’t bring himself to mention her in front of Sameer. He really felt ashamed of himself at that moment, when he remembered the promise, he had made to Saba’s father. The promise to shower her with love and to always protect her. He couldn’t live up to that word.
“Don’t say that Zayaan. It wasn’t your fault. You did your best until you lost your consciousness.” Zayaan felt his heart melting as he heard those words as Sameer patted him on the arm. For a moment, he had thought that the man standing in front of him will not forgive him because of what had happened to his daughter. But their that man was, smiling at him.
“In Sha Allah she is in a better place than we are. She had talked about you every single day when she was here. She made dua for you and asked us to make dua for your health too. She would have been extremely happy to see you.” Sameer said those words while smiling and wiping the tears that was going to fall from his eyes.
“Wipe your tears for good, Dad. I’m going to do something to make up for the sadness you went through In Sha Allah.” Zayaan had a strong urge to say that there was a possibility of Saba being alive. But at the same time, he was adamant on not hearing anyone doubting that possibility anymore.
Sameer looked at Zayaan with a curious look not knowing what he had meant. As Zayaan walked out of the house, Sameer and Heena exchanged looks, wondering what Zayaan was up to.
As soon as Zayaan got in the car and turned on the ignition, he took out his phone and looked at the first picture he had taken. Saba had written a name of a garden that she visited on a day she felt sad because of a murder case she worked on. He fed the name of the garden to the GPS of the car and hit on the accelerator.
Zayaan went reached the location in no time. He walked into the garden and looked all around it to see Saba. When he couldn’t, he got back in the car and entered the next location to the GPS.
Zayaan went from parks to benches on streets, to cafés and restaurants based on what Saba had written on her journal. He was almost about to give up when he got back in the car without finding her even on the 8th location he had gone to. He then took out his phone and swiped through the pictures of the pages, assuming that he had looked through all the pictures he had taken from the journal. He then saw a picture of a very blank page that had only a few lines. He realized that he hadn’t even read those lines thinking that it might be a continuation of thoughts from the previous page. However, as he read those lines at that moment, he was stunned.
Today I missed him too much. So, I visited the Gurara falls. Because it reminds me of the day we first met.
At first, Zayaan just sat still looking at those words and then, ended up laughing out of joy. For some reason, he was sure that he would find her there if he went right at that moment. Hence, he happily entered that location into the GPS and began to drive once again, one last time, as he thought to himself.
**
It was evening and the sun was closer to setting as Zayaan was reaching the Gurara falls. He got out of the car as soon as he reached there and began to look around. The entire area echoes with the sound of the waterfalls and Zayaan smiled involuntarily as it reminded him of the day, he first met Saba too.
It did even more so, when he reached the point where he began to see a river into which the waterfalls were flowing into. There were many people at the bank of the river, taking pictures and having picnics. Zayaan looked among the people and kept walking forward, until he reached a spot where there were no people. Well, almost no people except for a woman who was on her knees near the river.
Zayaan halted his steps for a little while as his heart fluttered, just like the first day that they had first met. He remembered the smile on her face, her beautiful voice and how she had taken him by surprise as she talked about Jannah out of the blue. He began to take slow steps towards her, crushing the dry leaves with his shoes as he did. The woman near the river didn’t seem to hear that sound though, perhaps because of the overwhelming sound of the waterfalls in the surrounding.
Within a few seconds, Zayaan had reached the riverbank. He then saw her face from the side. Though it was only her eyes that were visible to him because of the mask she wore, it was enough for him to be sure that it was her. At the same time, he wondered why she still wore the mask. Was she still trying to hide from everyone? Zayaan thought. He wouldn’t let her do it this time. Not anymore.
Zayaan took out his phone from his jeans pocket while still looking at her. She sat still as though she were a statue looking at the flowing water. Zayaan opened the camera from his phone focused the lens on her. Within a few seconds, he tapped the center to capture the picture and just then, the woman looked at his phone’s camera due to the sound of the click. Zayaan felt as though he had lived one moment twice in his life, when he saw the picture of those startled eyes looking at his camera.
He then looked at the woman who stood up with a start, just like that day. Zayaan could not help but smile at the scene. Before long, she began to walk away from him. But before she could go further, he spoke.
“It’s the same as that day. But I wish this part played a little differently. I wish you wouldn’t walk away from me for once.” Zayaan said as he looked at her. He saw her fists tightening before she spoke.
“I’m sorry but I really don’t think we know each other.” she said, in a trembling voice. Zayaan laughed sarcastically.
“Why can’t you look at me when you say so, then?” Zayaan asked, provokingly.
He saw her turning around at that moment and looking at him with sad eyes that she tried hard to make seem tough. He felt an ache in his chest when he saw those eyes tearing up.
“I think it would be best if you walked away right now.” she said.
“Walk away? So that I could go back to my miserable life where I’ll be wondering whether my wife is alive or not? So, that I could have those sleepless nights for the rest of my life? Is that why you exchanged yourself in the van with someone else when I had waited for you out there an entire day?” Zayaan asked with a hint of rage.
“That’s right! That’s how terrible of a human being I am. That’s how toxic I can be! Doesn’t that give you enough of a reason to walk away?” her voice rose too.
“No, it doesn’t! Because I know it must have been hell for you too. I can see that right now in your eyes.” he lowered his voice as he said the last sentence and tears flowed from her eyes as she looked at him.
Zayaan could not help but take a step towards her as she broke down. But she abruptly took even more steps backwards wiping her tears.
“You can’t come close to me. They will find out soon. Your mom and my brother. They were behind your accident too. And it was all because I was in your life. My brother looks at every one of my moves even here. They find out no matter how secretively I try to contact you or even try to find out how you are doing. They always tell me how they would always do something to you. And I….” Saba began to sob at that point. Zayaan felt tears building up in his eyes too, as he heard a voice full of pain. But he was firm when he spoke.
“Well, they are paying for it now.” he said and Saba’s sobbing stopped at once.
“How?”
“They are both arrested by the police in New Zealand.”
“What? How? And why?!”
“Oh, I’m tired of explaining. Let’s skip that part, shall we?”
Zayaan said, taking a deep breath and smiling. Before giving Saba a chance to think, Zayaan went and hugged her so tight that it made her forget every single worry that she had.
“I missed you so much!” Zayaan said, hugging her even tighter.
“I missed you too.” Saba said in a low voice, then smiling the first time after a long time.
**2 years later**
It was a chilly morning in New Zealand when a black Tesla cruised along a highway that passed through a green grass carpet overlooking the ginormous grey mountains with their tips covered in snow. The Tesla went at a regular speed as it reached a juncture on the highway that led to two roads. The driver in the Tesla steered the steering wheel to the right thereby taking the car in the direction that seemed to be heading to a forest.
Unlike the long-forgotten days, it was not silence that filled inside the Tesla. Rather it was jokes and laughter.
“I swear this was the thousandth time our dads have asked about when we are going to give them grandchildren.” Zayaan said as he drove.
“I know right? Time to rub THE statement on their faces again!” Saba said as they looked at each other.
“When Allah Wills!” they said in unison and they smiled by the end.
“To be honest I’m okay with waiting. But I do make dua to have a son. Because I want a tiny human just like you!” Saba said with a bright smile. The scar on the side of her face was almost invisible now. Perhaps because of how her health, both physical and mental had improved over the past years.
“Well, we are contradicting in our duas then. I’m making dua to have a daughter just like you!” Zayaan said, pouting his lips.
“Mmm hmm? Let’s see who wins!” Saba said, narrowing her eyes before she laughed with Zayaan.
Just then, the sound of Zayaan’s ringtone echoed in the car. Seeing a Nigerian number on the screen, Saba said that it must be Hamadh before receiving the call.
“Salaam Hamadh….. How is everything?” Saba asked.
“Hi sissy….is uncle Zayaan with you? Wanted to talk to both of you before I went to visit Dad. Do you have a message for him?” Hamadh asked with his deepened voice.
Zayaan and Saba exchanged looks as they recollected what had happened with Hamadh’s father Saahil. After they came back to New Zealand, they came to know that the one behind Sinaah confessing everything to the police was actually Saahil.
When Zayaan and Saba went to visit Sinaah in prison, he had told them that Saahil had wanted to harm Zayaan in the beginning. Especially after he got to know that his father had given permission to Saba to marry someone outside of her ethnicity when he wasn’t given the chance. But later when he heard that Saba left everything and went back to Nigeria for Heena and re-united Hamadh with his mother, Saahil had changed a lot. As soon as he got to know that Heena had even gotten better because of Saba, Saahil had told Sinaah to confess everything and fix everything for Saba and Zayaan. Even he himself had handed himself over to the Nigerian police force not long after that. He is now serving his sentence in prison and is regularly visited by his son and wife. Every time they visit, Saahil would ask about Saba and Zayaan.
“Send him lots of love from us, Hamadh.” Zayaan said, remembering all of it.
“Yes….and tell him that we will visit him soon In Sha Allah. Tell him to improve his behaviour even more so that his sentence shortens, and he is out of there once we get to Nigeria.” Saba said, with hope.
“I will In Sha Allah. Mama wants to say something, sissy.” Hamadh said. And then came Heena’s voice.
“Hey Saba! So did your mother-in-law like that traditional Pakistani dessert?” she asked.
“Oh that! Yes, she did. But she said that it was too sweet. Why don’t you send me the recipe with precise quantities of the ingredients?” Saba said.
“Of course I will. Gotta go now! Bye!” Heena said and the call got disconnected.
Saba sighed and smiled as she remembered how Zeenath had tasted and liked the dessert she had made for her.
Zeenath had not been on her right mind ever since she got arrested two years ago. She was taken out of the prison to a psychiatric hospital because her condition had worsened. She had lost much of her memories and it was only Zayaan and Farooq she got to know so far. Saba has maintained a distance, as the doctor warned that Zeenath’s hatred towards her ethnicity might worsen her condition. She speaks ill about black people even in random conversations.
But Saba still believed that it might change. And this was why she was trying to build a relationship with her even from a distance. Zeenath was told after she had that dessert that it was a black woman who gifted it to her. Surprisingly, she took that positively and said, ‘she must be good.’ Saba smiled as she heard those words from outside the room. She had forgiven her, despite the remnants of the hurt she gave remained in her heart.
“We are almost there.” Zayaan’s words took her back to the present moment. Saba looked outside as Zayaan drove into the narrow path inside the forest.
Within a few minutes of driving, Zayaan parked the car near the trees and they both got out of the car. It was none other than that spot. Their spot. Where there was the soothing sound of the waterfalls mixed with the sound of leaves rustling with the incredible scenes of water flowing from the gigantic mountains into the flowing river.
They both held hands as they walked towards the river. Zayaan held Saba close and Saba rested her head on his shoulder as they enjoyed the view.
“I love you.” Zayaan said.
“I love you too.” Saba said, and smiles appeared on both of their faces.
The end 🙂