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May 12 2021

“Come on Hamadh we’ve got to hurry! It’s going to be maghrib time soon!”

“Ok sissy, wait for me to wear my shoes. There!” Hamadh showed a bright smile as he was done tying his laces.

“Okay…make sure you say the zikr when you come out of the house. You remember it don’t you?”

“Of course!” Hamadh said before saying the zikr Saba had taught him. She smiled at him as she handed him a small basket and opened the door to make way for both of them.

It was quiet and getting dark when Saba made it to the street along with Hamadh. She looked both ways before crossing the street and then to the front as she began walking again with her hand on Hamadh’s back. As she did, she saw a silhouette of a man standing on a canoe in the lake. At first, she assumed it was one of those fishermen who was trying his luck with night fishing. But the closer she walked towards the lake, the more it occurred to her that the man was taking pictures of the landscape with his camera. The camera and the well-built body reminded her of someone. As she was about to figure out who he was, Hamadh said something when he found the mint plants. They’d come to pick them for Hamadh’s cold as he gets better when he smells the steam made from those leaves. Saba was going to pick those herself but Hamadh insisted to bring him along too. So there they were, with Hamadh beginning to pick the leaves before she could. Hamadh went silent as he got engrossed in the work and Saba’s mind wandered once again to the man in the canoe. She felt as though she was being looked. Just then, she was reminded of the day when she was at the river with the waterfall on the last day of her camp. Remembering how a man had taken a picture of her that day, Saba turned around with the torch involuntarily. Suddenly, the man’s face was clear to her. But before she could think any further, the canoe lifted from behind which made the man trip and fall right into the lake.

Saba could not help but close her eyes at the sound of the fall. Hamadh gasped at the scene before standing up.

“Sissy! Did a man just fall into the lake or was that a ginormous fish?” he asked.

“I suppose that was a man….” Saba said and walked towards the lake hoping the man was able to swim.

Zayaan knew how to swim. But he was a bit startled in the beginning as this was the first time he was in an unknown lake in the darkness of the night. Fortunately though, he was able to swim up to the surface and put his hand on the grass patch surrounding the lake.

“Are you okay?” Zayaan heard those words the moment he got his head up from the water. He looked at the girl who now stood a few steps away from the lake. Seeing her worried face made Zayaan forget about everything else for a second. But in the next second, he hurried to get himself out of the lake as he got a mini heart attack with the realization that his camera was in the water too. Luckily, the waterproof camera was still on which made Zayaan let out a sigh of relief.

“Are you okay uncle?” Hamadh reached up to Saba and asked before she could say anything more. Zayaan looked at the little boy who questioned him. Uncle? Zayaan thought. The boy must be Indian or Pakistani to refer to elders that way. Or was his father Pakistani. Probably….Zayaan thought as he noticed the difference in complexion between the boy and Saba.

“I’m really sorry. This is my fault. If you’d like you could come to our house and get some dry clothes. Our house is right around the corner..” Saba said, seeing the man soaking wet and realizing that it was getting colder by the minute.

“No thanks….my friend would be here soon…” Zayaan said, thinking about having to wear Saba’s husband’s shirt.

“But sissy is right, uncle! You might catch a cold if you stay in wet clothes for long. That’s how I caught mine too!” Hamadh said.

“Sissy?” Zayaan raised an eyebrow with a new wave of emotions raising in his heart.

“Yes uncle this is my sissy. Would you like to visit us? Sissy promised to make an awesome dinner after maghrib tonight. Grandpa always tells us to share dinner with a guest if we have the chance!” Hamadh said excitedly.

“Is that so? Then I guess I shouldn’t turn the offer down this time.” Zayaan said with a smile as he remembered how kindly Saba’s father had talked to him. And suddenly Zayaan felt a coziness about going to that house. Especially seeing a hesitation on Saba’s face, when Hamadh mentioned the dinner.

It took a few minutes for the three of them to reach the Saba’s house. With her and Zayaan on either side of Hamadh, they’d walked down the street quite like a family. Zayaan had helped Hamadh pick the mint leaves. Saba had stayed silent the whole time when both of them chattered away without even asking each other’s names. Saba found it charming to see a young man dealing with a kid in such a kindly demeanor. Not once did Hamadh stop smiling while conversing with him. Saba could not help but smile too, because of how the man was playing along with the silly jokes Hamadh was cracking. Through those smiles Saba could not help but wonder about his name. She wished Hamadh would ask but he didn’t and neither did she. She rather kept her distance even as they walked home. She wasn’t sure whether she did so to hold onto her pride or if it was a hesitation she felt when it came to that man. All she knew was she didn’t want to get swayed away with those emotions and get into an attachment that will lead to heartbreak. She’d rather not be emotionally traumatized again….because of a man.

Saba tried her best to avoid him, even after her father welcomed the man ever so joyfully. But she couldn’t help but notice his respectfulness and friendliness towards her father, though she was sure that he would be having a hard time understanding the accent. She also noticed that he was not very observant about the prayer as he only realized it was maghrib time when her father told him. He prayed though, along with her father and Hamadh after changing into the dry shirt and trousers her father offered. She got to know that his name was Zayaan as she heard her father talking when they were forming the row for prayer in the living room. Seeing him pray, made Saba think to herself that he mustn’t have known the prayer time, since he came from another city. That excuse she made for him angered her. She mustn’t lower her standards, she told herself as she prayed. She couldn’t believe that she was still doing that, after what happened to her just a year ago. But it was happening again, though she didn’t want it at all.

Zayaan too was going through quite a dilemma. He found himself being extra kind and caring in front of Saba. Of course he had been that way in front of his ex-girlfriends but that was for a purpose. The purpose of proving to everyone around him that he was the ultimate bachelor. But that night, his actions were not quite in line with that purpose of his. He had no one to show off to, except for the girl and her family. How was he getting along so well with a Nigerian father with a difficult accent and a little boy when he has never interacted so much with a kid before? Was it because it was in him to be the ‘ultimate bachelor’? Or was he trying to prove to Saba that he was in fact a decent man. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he felt happy every time he saw Saba. Perhaps because of her unique beauty.

Soon after the maghrib prayer, Zayaan sat in the living room along with Saba’s father Sameer while Saba was cooking dinner in the kitchen with Hamadh by her side.

Sameer began the conversation with a smile saying that he was grateful for being able to return Zayaan’s favour. He apologized once again on her daughter’s behalf about what happened that night. Zayaan said it was okay and then Sameer began to ask him questions about his family and career. Saba was listening very intently from the kitchen while Hamadh whispered “he is Pakistani too” repeatedly to her. The conversation took a turn when Sameer asked Zayaan if he was married. Saba’s hands slowed down their motion while chopping the carrots as she heard it. She felt a tightness in her stomach as she realized where her desperate father was getting at.

“No, I’m not married uncle. My parents are searching for a suitor but I haven’t found a girl I would like to marry as of yet.”

“Is that so? Our Saba is unmarried too. I guess we are in the wrong part of the world…..there was this one person who wanted to marry her but he fled in the last min….”

“Dad!” Saba came to the door of the kitchen and called out loud with a plea in her voice to stop talking.

May 12 2021

A week later, Zayaan was leaving for work early once again. Today would mark a new milestone in his life after the news he got from his boss yesterday.

“Zayaan….we’ve got a small issue. Matt said that he wouldn’t be able to go tomorrow. And we can’t delay the release of this documentary either. So…you will need to be its presenter. You did quite well in place of Laaiq in the news about a month ago. So I believe you could do this too. We don’t have someone as good as you for this at the moment.”

His boss had said on the call last night.

“Of course! Time to show what we got!” Zayaan said that to himself while looking at his reflection in the rear view mirror before giving himself a smile and starting the car.

Zayaan is used to receiving such last minute calls from his boss. But he never sees them as manipulation (though he realizes that being assigned jobs that are not part of his job agreement is a kind of manipulation). Nonetheless, he saw these chances as opportunities of building himself. He didn’t want to restrict himself to just his skill of photography though he loves that to death. He wanted to explore and expose himself to different varieties of tasks. This growth mindset of his lead him to be a journalist and an editor in addition to being a photographer within just a few months of his entry to work. And perhaps it was even going to make him a TV presenter starting from today.

After a busy day of writing and editing articles plus reading and going through a script a writer at the company wrote for him to present in the documentary, Zayaan set out with Laaiq and all the employees in-charge of the documentary in the employees’ van to the forest where they would be shooting.

It was a cool evening with light breezes making the leaves of the trees dance lightly to make a soothing music in the forest. Zayaan began to take shots from different areas of the location. Walking among the trees, sitting on his knee near a unique plant, near the river with the waterfall in the background and so it went. Zayaan confidently presented all his bits with little number of repetitions. His favourite shot was the last one, when the sky was getting darker and he had to be saying his final words while standing on a canoe in a lake with one of his foot on its tip.

Everyone applauded for him when he was done with his last shot and he thanked those who praised and congratulated him on presenting a documentary for the first time. He felt the need for a celebration which is why he grabbed Laaiq aside to make a plan.

“Hey let’s eat out tonight! I think we could find a restaurant there across the street. Why don’t you go with the others, get my car and make a dash back here?” Zayaan said, looking at the street overlooking the patch of grass they were standing on. And the small houses right across the street. For some reason, that area seemed familiar even as he saw it from afar. As he was about to make a conclusion, Laaiq spoke.

“What are you going to do here then? I can make a dash of 20 minutes once I get in your car but its prolly gonna take 50 minutes for me to reach the office in the sodding van!”

“That’s ok. I’d like to take some shots of the night sky. Has been a while since I did that. Tonight’s a good night to do that.” Zayaan said while taking a look around him.

“Okay then. Don’t have the energy to convince you otherwise. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Great work today!” Laaiq patted Zayaan on the shoulder before he left.

Once he was all by himself, Zayaan got back in the canoe that was held nearby the edge of the lake. Zayaan got in the canoe and unhooked it before he began to row using the paddles in the canoe. He rowed as he remembered the nursery rhyme he used to love as a kid.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream

He’d always thought the last line of the rhyme had a deep meaning. If life was a dream, then what? To him, the answer was simple. If life was a dream, then he better live his dreams. He better live up to high standards. He better achieve his potential. He better do the best he can for the people he loved most. Little did he know that he was going to go through a hard time doing that in the near future.

But Zayaan believed he was living the life he wanted. There was nothing that could stop him from getting what he aimed for. He thought to himself as he stood to his feet on the canoe once again. This time, he put his foot on the edge of the canoe that was facing the street. He lifted his camera and took a few shots of the landscape in front of his through the dim light that spread across the city as the sun set.

As he was taking the pictures, he noticed a young woman and a small boy coming out from one of the houses. Before he knew it, they crossed the street together and he saw a basket in the boy’s hand and a small torch in the girl’s hand who appeared to be wearing a hijab. The closer they came towards the lake, the more familiar the girl looked. The long black abaya, the hijab, the smooth black skin, the brown eyes that gleamed in the light of the torch,

Zayaan felt a rush overcoming his heart as it dawned upon him. Saba! The girl he thought he would never see again. Now it made sense to him why those houses seemed so familiar to him. And how he knew there would be a restaurant around the corner because he’d noticed one as he drove away from Saba’s house that day.

But what was she doing with a little boy? Was he her son? Zayaan thought as he felt a knot in his stomach when he realized that she might be married. Married happily. For a long time too. From the age of the boy Zayaan estimated in his head. Suddenly he began to feel a bit upset.

But why would he feel that way? Why SHOULD he feel that way? He’d liked her looks, nothing else. There was no reason for him to like her in any other way. What was up with her dress and her bizarre attitude? Too conservative for his liking. Oh and how did she react when he just merely took a picture of her? There was no reason for her to make him feel like a criminal for taking a picture. Who did she think she was?

In a split second, Zayaan criticized Saba a dozen ways in his head not even realizing that he was doing so to protect his own ego. Those thoughts filled up his head as he realized that he may not have her even if he wanted. And the thoughts did make him feel better about himself.

He even lifted up the camera towards her to tell himself (and her, in his head) that he can in fact take pictures of anyone he liked freely. But he didn’t want her to notice that he was giving her any kind of attention so he switched of the sound and flash before aiming the camera at her. Just then, he saw her pausing and looking in his direction. In the next moment, she aimed her torch at him. Zayaan quickly wanted to turn back with his rush of nervousness. Unfortunately, he stepped on the edge of the canoe too hard and the next think he knew, he lost balance and fell into the lake with a splash.

May 12 2021

“Saba my dear! What’s wrong with your feet? Why are you walking like that?” the old man came out of the house with his eyes fixed on Saba who closed the car door behind her. The black old man looked a few inches shorter than Zayaan with a thin layer of hair and a long beard, both gray. His eyes remained on Saba until he noticed that there was someone standing there.

“Who are you young man? Saba?” the man looked from Zayaan to Saba in search of an explanation.

“Dad, I had a cut on my foot while I was away from the camp and this man helped me.” Saba said.

“Oh! Are you okay my dear? You better get in and take some rest. And…..thank you…thank you so much for bringing my daughter home safely. Would you like to come and have dinner with us? We can’t leave you empty-handed.” the father said as he held Zayaan’s hand. Zayaan’s phone rang right when he reciprocated the old man’s kind smile. He was disturbed by the fact that his phone rang in such a moment. Yet he took out the phone instinctively to see Laaiq’s name on the screen which made him shudder with the realization that he had abandoned his friend in the forest. He immediately answered the call but Laaiq spoke before he could get a word out.

“Where the heck are you?! I’ve made a dozen rounds here looking for you and your car!” Laaiq shouted out.

“I’m sorry dude…..something came up and I had to go. I’m on my way now I promise. Will be there within 10 minutes.” Zayaan said before hanging up and looking at the old man and Saba who still stood there perhaps because her father was still there.

“I’m really sorry uncle. I need to get going to pick up my friend who is still there in the forest. Maybe I could drop by some other time to visit you.” Zayaan added the last line simply because he did not have the heart to turn down the old man’s offer. At the same time, he could not help but check out Saba’s reaction to those words of his. She had looked down to the ground with a poker face that was hard to comprehend.

Saba’s father nodded at Zayaan’s words and thanked him once again. He then told Saba to get in as he walked in her direction while Zayaan turned back to open the door of his car. Just when he opened the car, he heard Saba’s father telling her to be careful. He could not help but look at Saba who was trying to be strong standing on her own saying that she was fine. He smiled unknowingly and got in the car one’s she was out of sight.

Saba was in the middle of the porch when she heard Zayaan’s car drive away from right in front of her house. She’d looked back because of the sound of the gear but stared at the space from which the car went a few extra seconds before walking with her father again.

It was half past 11 when Zayaan lay down to sleep that night. He unlocked his phone and got on instagram with a plan of dozing off while scrolling through it as usual. But he could not concentrate on the movie unlike other nights. He kept replaying the scenes of the day’s evening in his head. He could not help but picture Saba’s smile. He could not help but remember her voice when she asked the question about Jannah. He could not help but think about how strong and independent she looked, despite how he thought she must have been abused. He simply could not bring himself to stop thinking about her.

But why? Zayaan thought to himself. It was then that it occurred to him how he was close to assuming that she was his soul mate. Zayaan laughed at that thought. He remembered his teenage years when he was into the 90s movies and he thought of every other girl he found beautiful as his soul mate. There was no such thing, Zayaan had concluded as he grew older. He doubted the love that was pictured in those movies ever existed. He could find a girl attractive and that is all there is to it. There would never come a day where he would favour a girl over his own self. No way!

Hence Zayaan settled that he wasn’t able to stop thinking about her just because he found her beautiful and attractive. A few days would go by and he would find someone even more attractive and he would have completely forgotten about her. With that thought, Zayaan was finally able get into his deep sleep as the Avengers on the TV screen were having a fierce fight with the villians around the city.

Around the same time that night, Saba was tending to a little boy who lay on a small bed in the middle sized room. He had a thermometer in his mouth when Saba took the wet cloth off his forehead. Saba took it out when it beeped and checked his temperature.

“It’s going down now Alhamdhulillah! How are you feeling Hamadh?” Saba asked, caressing through his hair.

“Better than before, sissy.” he said with a smile.

“Great! Try to get some sleep then….sissy will sleep right here since you aren’t fully well yet. If you feel anything, make sure to wake sissy up ok?” Saba said. 10 year old Hamadh nodded before he dozed off to sleep.

Saba ran her hand through Hamadh’s thick hair one last time and then got up to go to the couch on the other side of the room. Saba went and laid down on the couch and let out a tiresome sigh. This was always the case whenever Hamadh got ill.

Hamadh was a Pakistani orphan boy who Saba’s father had brought to the house about a year ago. Her father Sameer had said that he found the boy near a supermarket. Saba thought that it was odd to find an orphan boy near a supermarket in a country like New Zealand. She’d never found one before. Especially near the mall that they usually go to. But she didn’t ask her father much since she was happy to have an orphan to take care of. She thought of that as a chance to gain more rewards and was more than happy to take care of Hamadh like a little brother. Especially since her blood brothers were no longer in her sight. They were alive. But they were pretty much dead to her and her father. Her 3 older brothers are into all kinds of crimes. Sameer tried quite hard to advise them and keep them with him but at the end of the day, they decided to go separate ways from their father. The youngest of the brothers had actually offered Saba a chance to go with them but Saba decided in all good conscience that she would stay with her father. And so the split happened.

Saba sighed even as she remembered that day. The shouting and screaming of her brothers. The pleading and tears of her father. The pain in her chest due to all that was happening. But with time, all of that has faded away. 6 years later, Saba has now stood up to her feet. She worked as a librarian in part-time while studying in the university. Her father, who used to work as a janitor at a large company has now retired and makes small money by working on his vegetable garden in the backyard of the house. They were not crazy rich. But they had all they needed and Saba had always been thankful for that. She hoped to work in the forensics after completing her studies in the university and build a better life that she thought her father deserved.

Saba bent one of her legs while getting lost in thoughts. Just then, she felt a sharp pain from underneath her left foot. She lifted her head to see the band aid that she had put on the small cut. The cut wasn’t so big but she bled so much because thin blood runs within her family. Saba remembered the man who helped her as she thought of how she had gotten the cut. Creepy guy, she had thought as she realized he took her picture. She got startled because she normally doesn’t get her pictures taken. And she wanted to disappear from there because she was too disturbed from the look she was getting from that man. She doesn’t like to be in the center of attention of anyone. Especially not of a man. And hence did she got the cut on her foot as she tried to make a dash out of there.

At first she’d thought the man would be indecent in his behavior. But she realized that he wasn’t so, when he didn’t force her to be helped by him. He maintained his distance, though he kept giving glances. He was handsome too, Saba thought as she remembered his face. Was he a muslim? What must be his name? Where was he from? A number of questions came to her mind all at once. But she shook her head as her heart gave her a warning of attachment. She’d swore to herself that she would not get attached to any man about 2 years ago. Because of a painful experience she had to go through due to an attachment. Men aren’t worth the pain, she had concluded. So she better not be thinking about the man he saw today.

He was just someone who appeared in her life for a moment. She is going to forget him after a few days. She is probably not going to see him again. Little had she known.

May 12 2021

He found himself focusing the lens on the girl. His lips curved into a smile as he saw the capture he was going to get. In the next second, he clicked. With the flash and sound that came with the click, the girl in front of him got startled. Her light brown eyes were open wide as she looked at him. When Zayaan realized what just happened, his smile faded as he lowered his camera. The girl stayed in that position for a few seconds that stood up to her feet with a start and lowered her gaze nervously. Zayaan didn’t know why but his hands were getting cold for some reason. He felt too uneasy to say anything yet he felt obligated to do so.

“I…I’m sorry…” he said.

“It’s okay…” she said as she looked at Zayaan for a split second before she turned around. She began to walk back into the forest in a hurried manner. But before she could reach her shoes, Zayaan’s heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice in pain.

“Ouch!” she said as she stopped in her tracks. When Zayaan looked down, he saw that she had stepped on a small twig with thorns.

Zayaan heard another sigh of pain as she moved her foot away from the twig and he saw the blood dripping from her foot covered with a black sock. Zayaan expected her to turn around and ask for his help but to his surprise she took another step forward with great difficulty.

“Wait! You’re bleeding!” Zayaan called out.

“I know…I better head back to the camp as soon as I can.” the girl said as she made an effort to take another step.

“Its better to patch up your wound first. I have a first aid kit in my car. Wait a moment!” Zayaan said and looked at the girl’s feet before rushing away to get the first aid kit.

Zayaan came back to find the girl sitting near the river. It occurred to him just how painful going to that point must have been to her. Even more so, as he saw the prints of blood on dried up leaves that he passed before reaching her.

“Here! Let me help you.” Zayaan said, bending to his knees right next to her with the kit.

“Thanks!” the girl said, opening the kit herself before Zayaan could. He was taken aback as the girl began to search through the first aid kit herself. He thought it was his turn to play the hero. Scenes like this occur in so many of the TV soaps that his mom watches. The girl is supposed to act all vulnerable and be the damsel in distress in this situation. But the girl in front of him was not giving him a chance to be the knight in shining armour.

“May I help you?” Zayaan couldn’t help but ask when the girl took out the bandages and antiseptic.

“I could help myself. Learned the basics of first aid just last year. Um….would you mind turning around?” the girl asked, as she was about to remove her sock on her injured foot and looked at Zayaan. Zayaan wondered why at first and realized that he wasn’t supposed to see a hijabi’s foot uncovered.

“Sure!” he said and then turned around to take a few steps away from her. He could not stop himself from looking at her from the back as she began to fix her wound herself. Her unexpected chain of behaviours made his heart flutter for a reason he didn’t know. Perhaps because he has never seen a girl like her before.

Never seen a girl like her before…

The thought made Zayaan wince. Maybe because his heart knew deep down that this girl is going to have a special place in his life. Maybe his conscience made him realize the strength of commitment he must have for the kind of girl her saw in front of him. Or maybe because he knew within the depths of his soul that he would be with her for the rest of his life.

It was several minutes before the girl was fully done bandaging her wound. Zayaan saw her as she stood up to her feet along with the first aid kit.

“All done! Thank you so much for this. I should be going back to our camp now. They must be on their way to leave.” the girl said as she came to Zayaan and handed the kit.

“Are you sure you are going to be okay?” Zayaan asked, looking at her injured foot which now had a small bulge from underneath her sock.

“Oh no! My battery died! I don’t think I can find my way back without the GPS!” the girl said in a panicking voice.

“I can take you there if you’d like.” Zayaan found himself saying.

With those words, he had the girl’s light brown eyes fixed on him. He saw a hesitation in those eyes that he found hard to comprehend. He thought that she would decline his help once again, before he finally found her nodding her head lightly. Zayaan gave a tight smile and then went to take her shoes before showing his hand to her in order to help her walk. Once again, Zayaan found her being hesitant and told him that it was okay and then began to walk on her own.

Zayaan realized at that point that she was just a conservative muslim girl. He thought to himself just how much she must have been abused to be forced to live that way. It didn’t occur to him at first that she was being modest on her own accord. Until she chose herself that she will stay in the back seat. And how she lowered her gaze when he looked at her through the rear view mirror. And how she didn’t start a conversation with him like most girls he knew would. Most girls he knew would take this chance to hook up with him. Especially if he had shown the tiniest bit of interest. But this girl didn’t happen to notice it. Or was she ignoring it? Or was she just being rude?

Zayaan wasn’t sure. All he knew was she was a girl with good character. Specially after hearing the conversation she had with her friend on his phone to let them know where she was.

“Okay if you insist…I’ll go home and get some rest…But hey! Could you tell Nadha that she would find my sweater in her bag? I’d kept it for her since she forgot hers at home. I don’t get cold as much. So she can have it.”

Zayaan had listened intently to that conversation while feeling a warmth in his heart.

Zayaan’s Tesla reached the girl’s house within 10 minutes or so. It was a small, cozy house with flower pots hanging on the walls. Zayaan could not believe that he ended an entire trip with a girl without even knowing her name. He felt like asking her the moment the car had stopped yet hesitated due to her firm personality that made it clear that she didn’t want to chit-chat with a strange man.

Regardless, Zayaan got himself out of the car and she tried to do so, with pain. The girl got out and persevered to stand on her own while holding the open door of the car with a pained look on her face. Just then, they both heard an old man’s voice from inside the house.

“Saba!” the man’s voice came out with a worry. Zayaan looked at the girl as he heard the name. And ended up repeating the name in a whisper as he thought how beautiful of a name that was.

May 12 2021

Zayaan’s deep sleep was interrupted by the sound of the morning alarm. He opened his eyes lazily as he reached out to the clock on the side table while lying on his back. After a couple of attempts, he succeeded in snoozing off the destroyer of his sleep. He’d expected to get at least about 5 more minutes of sleep until he began to hear his iPhone’s ringtone on full volume. Though he didn’t open his eyes, a sudden surge of thoughts reminding him of the deadlines he had at work came rushing to his mind with the sound of his best friend Laaiq calling out his name in desperation. With that, Zayaan got up with a start and grabbed his phone which was right next to his alarm clock. As he guessed, it was Laaiq.

“Dude! Where are you?! Don’t tell me that you are still snoring your face off!” Laaiq blurted out.

“Who snores with his face? And I don’t snore anyway and you know that!”

“Not the concern right now. Get your butt off the bed and be in the office in the next 20 minutes.”

“20…what are you talking about? It’s still 6:45 in the morning!” Zayaan checked the time from his phone and said in utter confusion. He usually sets the alarm at this time so he could easily get ready to sign in for work at 8. His friend sighed in disbelief.

“Look who’s forgetting that our first documentary task’s deadline was preponed to this Tuesday. If we don’t finish the articles early today and don’t head out to the waterfall, I might as well plan for my retirement and you, my friend, can give up your dream of becoming a professional photographer.”

Zayaan’s eye grew wider as he heard his friend’s reminder. He mumbled that he was coming as he rushed out of his bed. His heart filled with excitement and fear as he got himself into the bathroom. He was anxiously brushing his teeth remembering his boss’ glare he would get if he doesn’t get the articles done on time. But found himself smiling at the same time, for the first opportunity that he was given to capture video clips and photographs for a documentary. His boss was impressed with the photographs that he took for minor news articles and he was the amateur photographer chosen to be in charge of the first documentary of the new TV channel he was part of. He had joined the company as a news photographer but not long after he did, he found himself writing articles as well since his boss found out he has an above-average English and the young company had a shortage of staff.

After a quick shower, Zayaan changed into a dark blue shirt and black jeans, grabbed his side bag and went out of the bedroom right into the dining room that was adjacent to his bedroom door. He said ‘good morning’ to both his parents absent-mindedly as put his bag over his head and grabbed a sandwich from the bowl sitting in the middle of the medium-sized dining table that could seat 8 people. His father who was aged 55 was also ready to leave for work in black suit and trousers as he munched away on the toast while reading the online newspaper on his iPad. His father, Farooq works as a manager of a major department in a corporate office. Farooq had moved to New Zealand all the way from Pakistan along with his wife in the 1990s. He had got the opportunity to work there while working in an embassy in Pakistan. When it was time for him to leave New Zealand, he planned not to, as his wife got pregnant with their first child at the time. Farooq thought it was of best interest for his family’s future if he stayed abroad. Hence he rented an apartment in the beginning of his life abroad. Later on as he got promoted and eventually got citizenship, he bought the house they are living in right now. His one and only son, Zayaan grew up to be an educated and ambitious 26 year-old speaking the New Zealand accent of English.

Zayaan’s parents were proud of all of his traits except for two. 1. He didn’t take his religious obligations seriously. 2. He wouldn’t agree to marry any Pakistani girl they introduced him to. To Zayaan, both of those things were of an utter nuisance. He has been shown so many girls for marriage to this date that he doubts if there was any community left in Pakistan that hasn’t received his photograph. Perhaps that’s the reason why his mom is looking for the possibility of any girls in their neighborhood in New Zealand who may belong to the Indo-Pak continent.

As for the religious obligations, Zayaan has somewhat of a sense the 5 prayers in Islam are important. But he paid as much attention to it as his parents did. Though they continuously advised him to pray, he saw both his parents being careless about the prayer too. They wouldn’t pray on time unless it was Ramadaan. He was told quite a bit about the religion by his mom (that too, mostly during Ramadaan) but he likes to believe all of that is hocus pocus as most of his friends in college and his current co-workers say. He believes in a world of freedom rather than a life restricted with religion with no basis. Little had he known.

Thus did he not pay much attention when his mother asked if he prayed Fajr and casually said he would pray once he gets back home from work as he gobbled up another sandwich gulped down his coffee while standing before heading out the dining room door and eventually out of the house.

Within the next few minutes he was lifting up the door of the small garage right next to his house. When he lifted the door, a white BMW and a black Tesla were looking right into his eyes. The BMW belonged to his father. The black Tesla was his….not fully, though he likes to believe that. He’d rented that car from the neighborhood a few months ago when he began to go for work. It was busted, with scratches and a faulty transmission when he got it for a cheaper rent. But he used his savings to fix it and the owner told him he could own it if he wanted. Yet he swore to himself that he would get himself a first-hand BMW like his father one day and do away with the Tesla. He hadn’t known that something was going to happen that day, that would make the Tesla special. So special that he would never want to let go of it.

It took a few attempts for Zayaan to start his car as usual. Once it did, he wore his sunglasses and changed gears to hit the road.

After a 20 minute ride, he reached the 15 storey building of the company he works for. He parked his car in the underground parking lot and headed to the office. When he walked through the main door, he happened to come across Mark, who was a much younger employee than him both literally and figuratively. Mark also happened to be an early bird that day like Laaiq. He greeted Zayaan as soon as he saw him.

“Morning buddy! Why are you so early here today?” Zayaan talked to him like his younger brother. He asked the question, though he knew the answer.

“Well….I just wanted to read my articles one more time before I sent it to Jessica Ma’am.” said the young journalist as he pushed his spectacles up with a geeky smile.

“I see….do your best! Like always.” Zayaan said words of encouragement as he patted Mark’s shoulder. It was that moment when Linda, the receptionist greeted Zayaan shyly. Zayaan responded to the greeting casually as he headed to the elevator along with Mark.

“I think she likes you, sir.” Mark said, as they both got in the elevator and the door closed.

“You think so?” Zayaan said, with a friendly smile tilting slightly towards Mark. Mark nodded. To that, Zayaan gave a light laugh. He knew that Linda liked him. Not just Linda. He knew what his presence did to his female co-workers and it wasn’t a secret to his male co-workers either. He had the looks and charisma any young man of his age would wish for. His straight black hair, square-shaped face, smooth lips, green eyes were to die for, in the sight of most young women he came across. He has naturally had a muscular body which maintained thanks to his motivation to do regular push-ups every day no matter what. He had dated quite a bit in high school just for the sake of it. But he did much less of since college to this day as life got busy. And it is also one of the reasons why he wouldn’t pay attention to girls like Linda. There was much more he wanted to accomplish in his career before he began to date.

“So what happened with the girl you met for marriage last week? Did it work out?” Mark asked. Zayaan sighed when he remembered that meeting with a girl named Naina. Naina looked as though she was in the first night of marriage with him. She was too shy to look at him, much less answer any question he asked her. Shy girls weren’t his type. He didn’t like girls who weren’t able to stand up for themselves. Neither the girls who pretended to be all vulnerable in front of him. Neither did he like the bold ones he dated in high school who pretended like they owned the world. What kind of girls did he like? The answer to that question remains unclear even to him despite how his best friend Laaiq asks that question in frustration almost every other week. Yes it’s easy for him to find any girl beautiful and take her on a date for fun. But when it comes to settling down, he would only do it if he found a girl with all of those characteristics though he thinks that it’s highly unlikely for him to find a girl like that.

“It’s the same usual story, Mark. I’m thinking to myself that I might as well spend my whole life as a bachelor. Sounds much fun doesn’t it?” Zayaan said as he realized yet again that his standards for a future wife were close to impossible. And he was okay with it too. He doesn’t want to get into the ‘mess’ of a marriage. That was perhaps the reason why his mind set such impossible standards for a spouse.

Zayaan left the office along with Laaiq at around 7:45 AM to begin 30-minute journey to the waterfall area they were supposed to go to. Laaiq told Zayaan on the way that they needed to take pictures of the area just for the day. He also said that they needed to interview some university students having a camp in the forest that held the waterfall in order to study biodiversity. So it was decided on their trip that Laaiq will be going to the camp area while Zayaan would do random clicks around the forest and the waterfall.

Hence they went their separate ways as soon as they got off Zayaan’s Tesla. Zayaan chose to have a comfortable ride in his car rather than the stuffy employees’ van they were supposed to go in. He’d usually do this for journeys that took more than an hour. But for some reason, he just felt like taking his car that day. As though it was a place he wanted to go to, regardless of his work. Perhaps because of his excitement to photograph a giant waterfall. And perhaps because of something that destiny held in store.

Zayaan spent around 15 minutes in the forest taking pictures of small plants, insects, random herbivores and just the scenery he stood in with tall plants all around him. Then came his favorite part, where he headed towards the waterfall with the help of his GPS on his phone. His heart filled with awe when he heard the sound of the waterfall even before he saw it. It was not long after that when he saw the water gushing into the light blue river that kept flowing. He could see the sun’s rays beaming on the top of the waterfall while the most part of it was covered by the shade of the huge trees near the river bank.

Zayaan walked towards the river with his attention focused on the river. But his sight was forced to move a little lower, as he heard the laughter of some girls by the river bank. There were 3 girls roughly of the same length. 2 of those girls looked like Asians in casual wear while the girl in the middle, who seemed to be the tallest, appeared to Zayaan as though she was from the Middle East. Mostly because of the attire she wore which was a long black Abaya with a grey scarf. But he was shocked to notice that she was black, as he walked further and saw a part of her face. Regardless, Zayaan minded his own business, went towards the river bank and stood a few feet away from where the girls stood. Seeing the magnificent waterfall in front of him, Zayaan lifted the camera that was hanging from his neck and began to take his pictures. It was at that moment, that he heard one of the girls’ sentences ever so clearly.

“I never get tired of rivers. I wonder about the promise of Allah whenever I see them. How beautiful will Jannah be?”

Zayaan felt a soothing calmness in his chest as he heard the question being asked in a low, yet cheerful voice. He could not help but look in that direction, to be sure who of the girls asked the question. When he noticed the girl in the middle looking intently into the river, he felt as though he already knew she was the one who captured his attention. At that moment, he saw the light smile on her lips as she took the white flower tucked in between the folds of her scarf and bent down to leave it in the river.

“Instead of thinking about what’s way too far away, why not think about right now?! The flower that you just sent, imagine it been taken by a handsome guy out there. And getting a secret lover. Just like in the movies! Why don’t you send one with a message? That’d be so romantic!” one of her friends said. Zayaan agreed with her in his head. The girl should not be dreaming of some place that is uncertain. A beautiful and charming girl like her should be seeking a lover, thought Zayaan as he saw dimples appear on her cheeks when she laughed lightly at what her friend said.

“If only love was that simple. I don’t think anyone would see me fit to be their lover. I don’t see that happening. So I’d rather have my heart filled with the love of Allah.”

Her friends scoffed at that answer and so did Zayaan. How could she think like that? How could she think no one would want to be her lover? How could a girl like her be hopeless about finding a partner? What kind of racists must have put her down to that point? Zayaan asked himself with the same frustration her friends showed. His frustration was perhaps more intense than her friends.

Her friends eventually said that they were heading back to the camp and the girl said she would be back in a little while. Within a few minutes, her friends walked barefoot until they reached their shoes a bit far away from the riverbank. Zayaan looked intently at the girl, who was still on her knees with her eyes fixed on the flowing river. He felt like the moment was on pause and wished for the beautiful scene he saw in front of him to stay for a long time. Perhaps that is the reason why he found himself lifting his camera once again. He found himself focusing the lens on the girl. His lips curved into a smile as he saw the capture he was going to get. In the next second, he clicked. With the flash and sound that came with the click, the girl in front of him got startled. Her light brown eyes were open wide as she looked at him. When Zayaan realized what just happened, his smile faded as he lowered his camera. The girl stayed in that position for a few seconds that stood up to her feet with a start and lowered her gaze nervously. Zayaan didn’t know why but his hands were getting cold for some reason. He felt too uneasy to say anything yet he felt obligated to do so.

“I…I’m sorry…” he said.

“Ouch!” she said as she stopped in her tracks. When Zayaan looked down, he saw that she had stepped on a small twig with thorns.

May 12 2021

It was a chilly morning in New Zealand when a black Tesla cruised along a highway that passed through a green grass carpet overlooking the ginormous grey mountains with their tips covered in snow. The Tesla went at a regular speed as it reached a juncture on the highway that lead to two roads. The driver in the Tesla steered the steering wheel to the right thereby taking the car in the direction that seemed to be heading to a forest.

Silence had its way during the whole trip with only one passenger on the driver’s seat. But it lost its battle with the sound of an iPhone ringtone that echoed in the car. The owner received the call from the screen on the dashboard.

“Salaam.” the driver said, in his masculine voice.

“Hey bro! I know that you’d be back at work by tomorrow but I couldn’t help from giving you this news any sooner!” a jolly voice of a young man filled the car.

“As if I won’t be sick of hearing scandals of celebrities and politicians starting from tomorrow? Nah ah! Save that for later!” he said and reached out to disconnect the call.

“W…wait wait wait! It’s not about a scandal. It’s about an overseas task you are about to be given. You need to be flying next week…”

“That’s a better news than I’d expected. Where do I need to go?”

“To….Nigeria.”

With those words, suddenly the brakes of the Tesla were pushed and the car came to a halt. Its owner sat in the driver’s seat, stunned by the news. A sadness began to overcome his square-shaped face as his eyes turned red and his thick eyebrows lowered. His thin lips parted as a painful sigh escaped through them.

“Manager James held a meeting with the journalists and the news photographers today. No photographer was willing to go that far given the options of other locations which were nearby. So I put your name forward before Manager could even bring it up.”

Yet again, the young man on the other side of the call got nothing but silence as a response. He sighed as the impact of the news he gave occurred to him.

“Dude I know that you have mixed emotions on this. But as your best friend, I figured this might help you with your longing. Go and have a look for yourself. You might find her. If you don’t, then at least you could be sure that she die…”

“I’d go!” his voice shook as he gave the sudden response so as to stop his friend from saying those words that would wrench his heart that was already aching.

“Way to go buddy! See you tomorrow then. Bye!” the friend said and the phone clicked.

The man in the car leaned on his seat as he tried to pull himself together. Memories from his past flashed before his eyes no matter how hard he tried to bury them. He had given up on burying them anyway, a long time ago, once he’d realized that it wasn’t possible for him to do so. It wasn’t possible for him to wake up every morning and not remember her face. It wasn’t possible for him to not think about her, when his mind wandered. It wasn’t possible for him to help himself from crying at night, when he thought about how she sacrificed for him. And about how he isn’t even sure where she is and how he can’t check on her without the fear of her being hurt.

The man leaned back on the seat with the click of the phone. He roughly inhaled a breath as though trying to pull himself together. Just then, the old watch he wore on his wrist beeped with an alarm. When he checked the time on the silver watch, it was 8:30 AM. Seeing the time planted a light smile on his face though his eyes still showed the agony in his heart. No matter how hard he tried, he could not forget her. Despite how heartbreaking it is to go over those memories, he would do it again and again. It was only those memories that gave him hope. Hope that in fact he would be able to live them again.

Thus he found himself changing the gears of his car, driving it forward once again. Minutes later, he was driving through a narrow road with tall, lush trees on either side. His heart skipped a beat like always, as he saw a waterfall from in between the trees he was passing by. He slowed down and parked the car on the side of the road when he could clearly see the end of the waterfall gushing into the river. He stared at the scene from the window for a few seconds and then he took his camera on the passenger’s seat as he got of the car.

The soothing sound of the waterfall filled his ears as he walked towards the river. There was not a single soul found in that area except him. Yet he could picture her standing near the river with her hijab and abaya. He could hear her giggles as she spoke with her friends on the first day he saw her. He’d walked and stood near the river, right where he did at that moment.

“I never get tired of rivers. I wonder about the promise of Allah whenever I see them. How beautiful will Jannah be?”

He’d heard the rhetorical question as was minding his own business and taking a picture of the waterfall in front of him. He’d looked at her involuntarily as he was taken aback by the question. When he looked, the girl took a small white flower on her hijab and got on her knees to let it flow in the river. She kept her hand in the crystal clear water even when the flower began to flow with the current.

The girl laughed lightly at those words and said, “If only love was that simple. I don’t think anyone would see me fit to be their lover. I don’t see that happening. So I’d rather have my heart filled with the love of Allah.”

Her friends sighed in disbelief and criticized her for her ‘pessimism’. They then told her that they would be heading back to their camp. The girl told them that she’d be back in a while. Within a few minutes, it was only the man with the camera and the girl on her knees near the river. The girl was oblivious to the man but the man was looking at her intently. He wondered about what made her say that she wasn’t fit to be someone’s lover. She looked absolutely stunning to him even with her dark complexion and oval face. What kind of racists must have put her down to that point? He wondered, with a hint of rage in his heart. He found himself aiming the camera in his hand at the girl in front of him with his photographer instincts telling him to do so. He saw the capture he was going to get through the lens of the camera and then he clicked. The click startled the girl sitting there.

But the picture of that same place that he captured years later on this day, had no girl in it. It was just the river bank and part of the river. The man looked at the picture and then to the ground below with a sigh of sadness. Just then, he saw a white flower just near his feet. He knelt to the ground, took the flower and placed it gently in the river. He kept his hand in the water even when the flower began to move away from his hand. He didn’t believe in petty things coming together to make a miracle. But his desperation to see his loving wife, made him with for once that her friends’ theory was right. He wished that the flower he just sent, could become a token of his love. People may call him crazy for his sentiments but he still felt her love. It was as though she was always there with him. Perhaps because of the sacrifices she made for him till the last moment where she let go off his hand against her will. He hasn’t seen her in a long time but it was as though she was always in front of him. He isn’t even sure if she is alive but she surely lives in his heart.

The man let out a sigh and then stood up to his feet. He gave a longing look to the direction his flower went. It was already out of his sight. He blinked and turned his back to the river hopelessly. He then walked back to his car, got into it and drove away.