Chapter Eighteen – The suspicious approval

“As empty as you must have felt that day Saba, I promise to never make you feel that way. I won’t be one to run away and I won’t be one to deceive you. Neither will I be one to treat you like an option. You will always be my priority.” Zayaan said.

“Zayaan….” Saba was about to say something not knowing what to make of what she was hearing when he spoke again.

“Will you marry me, Saba?” Zayaan said and Saba felt as though that moment came to a halt. It took her a while to even grasp what she’d just heard. As she looked at him unable to waver her eyes away from him, his lips curved into a light smile.

“Should I consider the silence as a yes?” he asked with that smile never fading away. Just then, Saba came to her right mind as she spoke.

“Are you sure you gave it enough thought?” Saba asked as she found it hard to believe that she’d said those words when a man had proposed her for the first time in her life. It made her realize just how insecure she was.

“Um yes….I’m pretty sure. In fact I prayed istikhaara before I came here and was glad that your Dad accepted me quite readily.” he said as he put his hands in his pockets as the light wind played with his hair.

“But…but this is just so sudden.” Saba was still as unsure as ever.

“Why? You don’t happen to like me?” Zayaan asked, doubting himself all of a sudden.

“No I like you but…” Saba’s words caught in her throat as she realized what she’d just said. Her cheeks reddened as she looked at him with widened eyes. Zayaan laughed lightly.

“But what, Saba?” he asked. Saba looked down and sighed.

“It’s just that…..I thought you would want to know me better before speaking of a marriage.” she said, remembering the words of her ex-boyfriend. She’d never wanted to date him. The day Shamweel told her that he liked her, she’d told him to talk to her father and he’d refused. We must know each other better if we don’t want to have regrets in life was what he said.

“Know you better? Here is what I know. You are an honest girl who respects her father and takes care of him. You are kind to the needy and poor. You are good with children. You know Islam better than I do and even teach it in a beautiful way. Isn’t this more than enough for me to want to spend the rest of my life with you? Cowards are the ones who fail to commit when they see a girl they like. I used to be one of them too. But not anymore. And I’m glad it’s you when I’d come to this realization. We both know where this is going, Saba. Wouldn’t you rather have our love grow in a way that pleases Allah?” Zayaan asked, with a million emotions in his eyes as he looked at Saba.

Saba’s eyes twinkled with tears as she heard those words. Her heart trembled as she realized that those were the very words she was craving for throughout her past relationship. She wanted the one she loved to stop her from going into the dating scene. To stop her from lying to her father. To stop her from doing anything displeasing to Allah. But it was never meant to be the person she’d dated then. It was meant to be the man standing in front of her, with firmness in his voice that reassured her like never before.

A tear fell from her eyes as she nodded as an answer to his last question. Then again he gave her a smile, which had a warmth that melt the last bit of cold left within her chest.

**

“Mom, Dad….I have something to tell you.”

Zayaan said those words as he sat at the dining table at their home for dinner. His mother barely glanced at him while his father’s eyes remained fixed on his phone as he typed away a reply to a text that he got a minute ago.

Zayaan sighed as he looked down with the usual exhaustion he felt from the distance his parents were keeping from him. For a moment he even thought to himself that he might not as well tell them anything but that simply didn’t feel right. Hence he spoke.

“I’m getting married.” Zayaan said, fixing his gaze to one spot. At once, both his parents looked at him in unison.

“Who is she?” Zeenath asked as though that was her only worry at that point.

“She’s an amazing woman. She’s kind, intelligent and hardworking. I proposed to her today.” Zayaan said with a slight smile as he felt comfort in being able to make a conversation with his parents in a long time.

“Where is she from?” Farooq asked and at once, Zayaan’s smile faded as he dreaded that question. Is that important? He had an urge to ask. But he didn’t, as he didn’t want to be the least bit rude with his parents.

“She is from Nigeria but lives and studies here.” Zayaan said and his mother chuckled, even before he completed the sentence.

“Nigeria? Must be a black beggar then!” his mother said which made him clench his fists.

“I know right?! I wonder how they even manage to live in a sophisticated city like this. They must have lived in the ghettos. And you want to marry her? Bring a girl like that into our family?” Farooq said, almost fuming in his anger.

“I don’t see why you see that as an issue. Status does not come from money or a skin colour does it, Dad? Status comes from being in obedience to Allah and His Messenger (SAW). And I see that in Saba, Mom. She was the one who taught me how to live a life to seek the Love of Allah and that’s the best thing that has ever happened to me!” Zayaan said with eyes full of joy and yet his parents weren’t moved in the least bit.

“I see, so it was the girl who brainwashed you to rebel against us. All the more reason that she is undoubtedly going to bring trouble.” Farooq said.

“Dad that’s not the case!”

“Enough arguing! This is not even a matter to quarrel about when the decision is so clear.” said his mother.

“Yes…and the decision is I am going to marry her. I’m not going to go back on my word.” Zayaan said, with a look that told both people at the table that nothing was going to change his mind.

With that, he left the table without even finishing his dinner.

**

A couple of weeks later Zayaan was standing at the lake in front of Saba’s house with black suit, white shirt and black trousers. He turned around as Uncle Sameer called out his name and he saw his bride, being herself in a simple black abaya with a few layers of lace and a beautiful smile on her face that reached her eyes. He’d seen that smile of hers for the first time that day, and he’d assumed he was going to see that smile for the rest of his life. It felt like a scene out of a dream as they both sat next to one another with the not so hot evening sunshine with greenery surrounding them while hearing the khutbah of the nikah. They both promised in each other’s heart that they were not going to leave one another, neither in health nor in sickness. That they will be by each other’s side no matter what happens. That they will be the coolness of each other’s eyes just like the last ayah they studied together at the orphanage.

Zayaan accepted Saba as his wife and he felt tears in his eyes as he did. He never felt so deeply about a woman as he did at that moment. He never felt so sure about a woman as he was about the one sitting next to him. When he turned to see her, she looked at him with those same tears of happiness. They’d held each other’s hands as they smiled at one another.

Uncle Sameer had arranged a small party at the house with the neighbors in that area. Zayaan’s parents chose not to attend the wedding but he wasn’t too worried about it. He’d hesitated to bring Saba into his life after the conversation he’d had with his parents. But what his mother said a couple of days later consoled him.

It’s actually okay, son. You have the right to marry whoever you like. Your father will eventually come around. So you go ahead and do what you like. I will be looking at you from a distance until your father is convinced.

Zayaan almost jumped of joy at those words. He’d hugged his mom as he thanked her. Little did he know what she had in mind as she said those words.