Chapter One – Man of her dreams

“May I have this dance, miss?” asked the gentleman who held out his hand for Alaya. Alaya’s heart skipped a beat as she saw the man who stood quite close to her. The green eyes and the thin lips with a light smile made her weak in the knees.

“Go Ally go!” whispered Lilly who stood right by Alaya. Alaya felt something in her stomach. Was it the strange drink she was holding? Or was it the butterflies? Alaya wasn’t sure. But she was sure she had to take that hand. Especially when the man was wearing a black suit and trousers with a bow tie around his neck and looked straight from a 90s movie, when chivalry was still a thing.

Next thing Alaya knew, the man took her hand and for some reason her drink disappeared into thin air. The man pulled her to the middle of the dance floor and Alaya found herself smiling as she saw the man doing the same. As a new romantic song played in the background, Alaya surprised herself with her own dance moves. When did she learn how to dance with a man so flawlessly? It was then that she realized that even her dress was as gorgeous as that moment. Her blue maxi dress matched with her brown headscarf. Perfect! And what was that song playing in the background? It sounded nice but she didn’t know its name. As she was thinking about it, the man pulled her close as a move to perfectly match the vibe of the song. She felt safe in his strong arms as he pulled her close. Who was this guy? What was his name? His handsomeness or something? Whoever it was, he was making her feel good, Alaya thought as she rested her head on his chest with her eyes closed. Then he called her with an ever so calming voice. Then he called her again. Then again.

***

“ALAYAAAA!!!”

Alaya woke up with a start with the sound of her room’s door been thrown open against the wall as her mom roared. With an instant, all the lights were on and Alaya narrowed her eyes to the point that they were almost closed again.

“How many times do we need to call you young lady? We were about to call the police in case of a suicide!!” Waleeda said, in her habitual sarcasm.

“Mom stop overreacting! And for God’s sake its 3 in the morning. Why in the world would you wake me up like this at this time?”

“Seriously Alaya! Didn’t think you had the memory of a goldfish. It’s the first day of Ramadaan. Now stop the sulking, get yourself out of bed and come out to eat!”

Waleeda said and left the room. A sudden surge of bad feelings made Alaya feel sick to the stomach. Ramadaan! Huh! Kudos to the month that ruins her sleep, her diet, her shape, her everything. And then they display this as “the happiest month of muslims” in an ever so joyous poster with bearded men eating dates or a muslim couple looking at the moon with a small kid. She doesn’t see any of that making any sense. In what sense could this be ‘happy’? Being woken up while she was in a deep sleep in her comfy bed? That thought made Alaya feel the softness of her bed a little too much. With eyes getting heavy, Alaya closed them again. Within seconds, she fell back on her pillow. Not a minute had gone by and her annoyance came back with her mom’s voice from the outside. She squeezed her eyes, grunted and got up accepting her defeat.

She went to the bathroom to freshen up before going out to her younger brother, who would ‘eeeewww’ at every little untidiness. Not being in the mood to argue with him, or to go out so early, Alaya took her time brushing her teeth and washing her face. While brushing, the thoughts of her dream came rushing to her mind. She ended up smiling thinking of it. Who was that guy? She thought, for the first time in real life. His face was so clear to her in her dream but right now she was having a hard time remembering. That made her heart hurt. How could she have forgotten such a handsome man? If only she could see him again. Maybe she would, if she slept again. Like another episode of a series as her best friend Lilly says. Oh well! But she wouldn’t want to be woken up by her mom again even if she did catch the next ‘episode.’ So better get this midnight eating done with to go back to sleep. Alaya hurried out of the room still the thought of that man in the back of her mind.

It was quiet in the dining room when Alaya reached there. The small dining table was full with her father at the head of the table, her 13 year old younger brother, Faris, her elder sister Asma and her husband Liam along with their 6 year old son Maaiz. As she was getting close to the dining table, Asma caught her eyes and gave her an ever so gracious smile. Alaya smiled back with bitterness. She had been close to Asma all her life until……..well until she started wearing those long black dresses along with her hijab. For God’s sake she was wearing one even at that moment when there was no stranger coming even from a mile away. Alaya couldn’t figure out what had happened to her sister about 7 years ago. She used to be such a cool young lady with top notch sense of fashion. Then she came back home one day, on a day of Ramadaan like this, saying that she wanted to ‘change.’

“Change?! What change?” Alaya had asked her, dumbfounded.

“Change….in a way that pleases Allah.” Asma said, in a voice that appeared so dramatic to Alaya that she almost laughed. But she couldn’t, seeing the seriousness on her sister’s face. And the seriousness with which she had brought the ‘change’ she told Alaya about. On that day, she started praying on time, fiercely reciting Quran every chance she got, memorizing it, helping mom, dad, Faaris and even Alaya in ways she wasn’t doing before and of course, wearing the black dress. She even stopped listening to music, watching movies and everything Alaya considered as ‘having fun’ and started watching Islamic lectures instead. At first Alaya had thought she was going through a ‘Ramadaan phase’ but no! The phase continued even after Ramadaan and it carried on until today upto 7 years. Now Alaya could be sure that she isn’t ‘changing’ from anything she has become today. So Alaya found herself being distanced from Asma. Because they don’t share the same interests anymore. Alaya’s favourite movies don’t interest Asma quite the same way Asma’s favourite lectures don’t impress Alaya. So they basically had nothing in common to talk about. Alaya can’t even talk about boys she was having a crush on with Asma because she would end up telling Alaya about ‘lowering her gaze.’ It was heartbreaking in the beginning for Alaya. She was losing her closest best friend. But now she found new best friends in high school and it’s cool with her to go by days without talking to Asma.

Alaya had a disturbed facial expression as she set at the dining table with those thoughts. Her father Mahmood noticed it and cleared his throat to get her attention.

“Anything worrying you, dear Alaya?” Mahmood asked with a kind smile.

“No dad….it’s nothing.” Alaya said, in all seriousness. She did not have a good relationship with her father either. In Alaya’s eyes, all her father did for her was restrict her. Quite the same way Asma has now “restricted” herself. But Alaya does not want to be restricted. She doesn’t want to be stopped. She wants to be free. Free from all the shackles that all her family members were supposedly putting on her. She wouldn’t be in the kind of ‘pathetic’ state her sister is in right now. Alaya looked at her brother Faaris who was sitting right in front her. Faaris made a face at her and Alaya made a face of her own.

“Dad I forgot to tell you….on my business trip back in Cairo I met Layaan, Asma’s cousin. He’s changed quite a bit. Apparently he’s a doctor now and works for a multi-million dollar company. He told me to tell you that he would be in New York within 3 weeks.” Liam spoke and Alaya wearily listened. It came to her as a surprise that the fat 10 year old kid she knew as a child was now a doctor. She wanted to ask a question but she did not dare. If she did, her parents would start fantasizing about her marriage to her cousin whom she hasn’t seen for years. The fear came true even without her opening her mouth.

“Oh is that true! How amazing Ahmed’s son turned out to be. He’s 26 if I mustn’t be wrong. Must be a good match for an older 19 year old don’t you think?” Mahmood said, winking to everyone hoping everyone gets the hint. Alaya tried to ignore and not say anything.

“Oh yeah it will be. And a sensible lad like Layan might even knock some sense into a 19 year old girl, what do you say Alaya?” Waleeda said, putting her hand on Alaya’s hand. Alaya looked at her mom, with anger building up inside her.

“Yeah I think he likes Alaya too. He asked me about her.” Liam said to Mahmood.

“Weeheee Alaya is getting married!!!” Faaris sang along and Alaya just couldn’t stand it. With her face turning red with rage she stood up.

“STOP! JUST STOP IT! Dad I told you I’m not ready for marriage. I haven’t even graduated from high school! Seriously let me live my life!!!” Alaya spoke in an angry voice and that brought silence to the entire room. She looked at everyone’s face one by one. She looked last at Asma, who was the only one who had sympathy for her. But she did not need sympathy! Alaya told herself. Yes! She doesn’t need sympathy. Especially not from anyone in this family, who were trying to ruin her life. With that thought, Alaya turned her back to them and stormed into her room.

Alaya locked herself in her room. Few minutes later, her mom knocked on the door and asked her to open. Saying that dad was just joking. But Alaya couldn’t believe that. And even if she did she spited those ‘jokes.’ How could they talk about taking away all of her freedom? She heard all horror stories about muslim girls losing their own identity after marriage. Of course Asma’s story is not one of them. In fact Alaya envies the love Liam shows to her sister and she is happy for her every day. But in one sense she feels that Liam controls Asma as Asma always keeps Liam informed about her whereabouts. And Asma always asks Liam about the dress she will choose from a mall. Alaya never heard Liam tell her to do so but Asma does it on her own accord. But what if her husband-to-be forces that upon her? She can’t imagine living a life like that! Never!

As Alaya set on her bed with her face in her two hands, she heard the call of Fajr prayer from the Adhaan clock in the living room. Despite her hatred towards everything that her family was forcing on her, for some unknown reason she just can’t bring herself to miss any one of the 5 prayers. Even at that moment of negativity, she found herself getting up, going to the bathroom and making wudu. Within few minutes, she was on the prayer mat, folding her arms in front of her. She wasn’t thinking about what she was saying in the prayer, neither did she care know any of its meanings. She was reciting lazily, thinking about everything else except the prayer. All she could think of was how she could be free. How she could stand up for herself and be independent from her family. As she was thinking about it she was inspired to study hard like never before. That was it! She would study hard, get a scholarship from a university way away from her family and that would be her way to freedom! Positive vibes filled her heart as she ended the prayer. She hadn’t realized the harm hidden in the plan she made. She hadn’t realized that it was her parents’ hard work that brought her to a ‘free society’ like New York. She didn’t know that if only she gave a thought to the words she was reciting in her prayer, her heart would have found rest. But she didn’t even know that was going to realize all of it in the near future.

Alaya couldn’t even sleep thinking about her plans. She started working on her assignments that she had been procrastinating on for so long. A feeling of accomplishment engulfed her as she finished a huge project even before sunrise. Praising herself for the work she did, Alaya decided to take a break. On her breaks, she would usually go on social media. But just then, her sketchbook and pencil on her study table caught her eyes and she changed her mind.

With the sketchbook and pencil, she got on her bed. She started sketching not necessarily deciding what she was going to draw at first. As the pencil made more sketches, it started to look like a face of a man. All of a sudden, Alaya felt a sense of excitement in her heart. All she could think of was the man she saw in her dreams. Maybe this was one way she could remember his face again! Alaya drew and drew fiercely and non-stop. About an hour later, Alaya took her pencil off her drawing and lifted the book to look at her sketch. There he was, with a light smile on his thin lips. With thick artistic eyebrows, long eyelashes and a look that can take anyone’s heart away. Alaya could not help but smile at her sketch. But her smile faded, as she realized that he was not quite a stranger. He looked familiar. For some reason…