Chapter Seven – The Accidental Encounter

“Is that so? Our Saba is unmarried too. I guess we are in the wrong part of the world…..there was this one person who wanted to marry her but he fled in the last min-“

“Dad!” Saba came to the door of the kitchen and called out loud with a plea in her voice to stop talking.

Both the men in the living room turned to see Saba with teary eyes. Countless thoughts passed through Zayaan’s mind as he looked at her and related what he just heard to her sad face.

“My dear-“

“Dad please….” Saba said and Sameer calmed himself down, understanding his daughter’s sentiments. Sameer pursed his lips and nodded lightly in assent. Saba looked down and went back into the kitchen. Sameer sighed as he laid his back on the couch.

“Saba doesn’t like talking about it does she?” Zayaan asked hesitantly and mocked himself. Of course she wouldn’t like to talk about the rejection she faced!

“She hasn’t gotten over it fully to this day. It was inconsiderate of me to bring it up in the first place.” Sameer said guiltily.

Zayaan had a sudden urge to ask about why Saba’s fiancé left but choked his curiosity knowing that Saba must be listening.

“She’d told me not to talk about it to anyone. So I better keep my trust. I’ll go get us a drink until the dinner is ready.” Sameer said with a smile as he got up to go.

Zayaan could not help but think about dinner even as he had dinner. He glanced at her as she laid out all the dishes for everyone on the small wooden dining table on one side of the living room. Everyone remained silent as she did because of the tension in the air. Zayaan earnestly wanted to start a different conversation to bring back the smile on her face but before he could, she turned back t go. Her father asked her if she wasn’t having dinner. I would have dinner later she had said before she left walking briskly.

Saba went straight into her room and closed the door behind her before tightening her fists while walking to her bed and then sitting on its edge. Her heart pounded against her chest when she felt the warmth of the tears building up in her eyes. It only got worse, as the words of her father echoed in her ears and she was reminded of the man. The first man she ever let close to her heart. The first stranger she ever let herself trust. The first love whom she forgave countless times just because of the yearning she had, to be with him. She had sensed the danger of doing that from the very beginning. She had seen every warning sign of how she was going to be cheated. But she gave a blind eye to all of it. Because her naïve heart assumed that’s how love was ought to be. She thought he would change his ways knowing how unconditional her love was. But no….all she got, in the end, was heartbreak. With the realization that the person she loved the most didn’t want her.

She had fallen to her knees that day, on the patch of grass near the lake along with her wedding dress she wore for that special someone, with the sun setting in front of her. She’d burst into tears as she knew that he would not be coming for her. After all she did for him, she’d still questioned her love for him. Did she do something wrong to upset him? Was she not good enough for him? Was she not beautiful enough for him? She’d even tried on a pale colour of foundation for that day because he’d always said that she would look more beautiful than she is, with a lighter complexion. She’d guessed that her effort to make him happy was not good enough for him.

She’d cried the whole night trying to call him and text him. But she couldn’t reach him even once and neither did she get any response to any of her messages. She had ruminating thoughts along with chest pains for weeks. And yet she couldn’t help but think about if he was okay. She’d fallen into depression and had to seek counseling for her frequent anxiety attacks. Through counseling, she came to realize that he may not have loved her the way she thought. At first, she refused to believe that until she heard from a friend that he had gotten into another relationship. The more she saw him with his new girlfriend at the university and the more she learned about behaviours through counseling, she came to the conclusion that not getting attached to any man would be best for her. Her counselor had advised her to the contrary but she was firm on her decision.

But what was happening today? Saba thought to herself. That man, whom she’d seen only for the second time, why was she getting attached to him? Could it be because he is her “true love”? Could it be that he is “the one” for her? Like in the movies and stories? Saba shook her head with that thought. She must be out of her mind! She had to have a sense of reality. It was shaithaan who beautifying thoughts about Zayaan for her. She lost her khushoo’ in Salaah because of it. She mustn’t get attached to him so quickly. Perhaps it was happening because she felt lonely and she sensed that he was giving her a bit of attention. It was going to pass, Saba thought to herself as she took a breath. Just then, she remembered how Zayaan had taken a picture of her. She cringed at that thought. After her past relationship, her confidence had gone below ground level. Especially with men. She had the assumption that every man who saw her would point out her flaws and make fun of her among each other. Because that was exactly what the man she trusted the most did, after he left her for another girl.

She felt the pain in her chest coming back then again along with her tears as she pitied herself for being bullied by the ‘love of her life’. She hated herself for crying over him but ended up doing so anyway because her weak heart did not have control over them as of yet. She hoped one day she would look back and not feel an ounce of emotion left for him. That was the target she wanted to reach in her healing. She didn’t realize how close she was to that healing.

After dinner, Zayaan spent some time playing with Hamadh, showing his camera roll and talking to Sameer. All that time, he couldn’t see Saba. He kept looking at the closed door of her room so frequently that Sameer told him that she was going to be okay after some time alone. He was genuinely worried about her at the same time being so annoyed at the man who left her in the last minute. This was the first time he was so mad at a man he hadn’t even seen but he knew for sure he wanted to punch that racist in the face.

After a while, Zayaan got a message for Laaiq, who he had almost forgotten about, saying that he was around 5 minutes away from the lake. Zayaan told him what happened briefly and gave him the address from where he needed to be picked up. Sameer at once helped Zayaan with his clothes that were then quite dry as they were hung near the heater in Sameer’s room. Zayaan wanted to change into them so he could return Sameer’s clothes but Sameer refused saying that there was no need to rush and that he could return some other time he traveled to that area. With that, Zayaan thanked him and went out, after giving one last look at Saba’s door.

After about a minute Zayaan had left, Saba came out of her room with her eyes looking puffy from all the crying.

“Where is he?” Saba asked as she only saw her father and Hamadh in the living room.

“Who? Zayaan? He is outside waiting for his friend to come and pick him up.” Sameer said.

Saba found herself letting out a sigh of relief. She spoke before Sameer could ask anything more.

“Dad! I would like to tell him something. Could I go and talk to him for a minute?” Saba asked. Sameer looked at her for a moment and then nodded his head, as he trusted his daughter. Because he knew she wouldn’t say or do anything immodest. And because he knew she would only ask so for something important. Thus he didn’t feel the need to follow her either, when she walked past the living room and went out the door.

Zayaan turned around as he heard the door open from behind him. As he did, his eyes met the light brown ones he thought he wouldn’t see again. Saba hesitantly closed the door behind her and began to walk towards him. Her skin shined, as the moonlight showered on her. It looked like a dream to him for a moment and so it did for her. When she saw his strong figure turned towards her and those eyes fixed on her. She almost got carried away but quickly looked down, brought herself together and walked to stand next to Zayaan. Zayaan who was not able to take his eyes off of her desperately wanted to tell her that she looked beautiful. But….

“Thank you for the delicious dinner. Haven’t had something so good in a while.” Zayaan gave a genuine compliment. Then again Saba was on the verge of being carried away but took a deep breath and spoke.

“I would like to make a request to you.” she said in a firm voice.

“What?”

“I would appreciate if you would delete the picture you have of me.” Saba said. In other words, she wanted to ‘delete’ any traces that could take this ‘relationship’ any further. She didn’t want to daydream and overthink about how he would look at her picture and would come to fall in love with her. She knew how dangerous that chain of thought was and she wanted to end it right in its tracks.

“The pic….you mean the one at the river? Why would I delete that?” Zayaan said and immediately regretted those words. What would she think of him now? A pervert who was probably staring at her picture every night? But that wasn’t the reason Saba looked at him in all shock. She’d assumed he would agree to delete immediately or he must have done it already as he was probably trying to take a picture of the river but she happened to be there.

“Um….because that wasn’t a good picture anyway was it? It would have been better if my friends were there when you were trying to take the picture of the river. They have a more attractive complexion and it would popularize your documentary you see?” Saba said nervously while hating the fact that her insecurities came out in her words though she tried her best to hide them. She felt Zayaan’s eyes on her and she could almost see how he must have the sympathetic look. But she didn’t need sympathy! Zayaan spoke as she was about to say that.

“Is that so? But I believe my documentary would succeed with the unique beauty of the girl in that picture. As a matter of fact I wasn’t even aiming for the river that day when I took the picture. I was trying to take the picture of the beautiful woman sitting there.” Zayaan said in a resolute voice as though trying to tell Saba that she didn’t need to be insecure about her looks at all. Saba could not help but look at him at that point. At that moment, what they saw in each other’s eyes made them think that this may be just one of those many times they were going to be supporting each other.