Chapter Seventeen – Affirmation of happiness

Zayaan stood at the window of his new cabin as he stared out the large window lost in deep thought. His mind was wrapped up with the words he’d heard last from Saba when he’d gone to her house about a week ago.

“No Dad you wouldn’t! Maybe….just maybe he likes me because I give those advices. But that doesn’t mean he could just marry me. What if you ask him and he isn’t able to refuse just because it’s from a good family? I don’t want him to marry me when he wouldn’t even like how I look like. I don’t want to force such a thing on him. He could get any beautiful girl that he likes any day. I don’t want to ruin his life, Dad.”

He was about to knock on the door as he’d heard those words. He’d come back as he kept thinking about her as he was driving. He was imagining the look on her father’s face and the nervousness he saw from her back and forth. He kept making up scenes of how her father might make her cry and the thought tightened his chest. He began to regret leaving without having said a word that could have stopped that from happening and before he knew it, Zayaan had found himself making a U-turn.

But what he heard as he stood at the door was completely out of the league from what he’d expected. Uncle Sameer’s thoughts at the moment he saw them together were clear to Zayaan from Saba’s words. He felt a pang of pain in his chest as he heard the shakiness in her voice. When she’d said I don’t want to ruin his life.

It was at that moment that he felt a kind of love that he’d never felt before. A selfless love that wishes nothing but the best for him. And it was at that moment he realized that it was always there all this time though he never noticed it. He’d remembered all the conversations they’d had, the moments they laughed together and how willing she always was to help him with anything. And it wasn’t just her either. Even he’d had reciprocated that love, knowingly or unknowingly. His thoughts went back to how he’d taken her picture almost subconsciously, how he went out of his way to fulfill her request of deleting the picture while still keeping it safe, how he’d arranged an entire dinner just to see her smile and how he’d always wanted to see her and not want their meetings to end lately.

Zayaan exhaled through his mouth as he knew he had to make a decision. Firmness took over his face as he made up his mind on what to do.

**

Saba sat in one of her classes for that day, scribbling on the book lazily as she heard the monotone voice of the professor. She wasn’t sure what he was talking about and neither was she sure about what she was writing. As she sat back to see what she wrote within the past hour into that class, she’d written only the topic along with 3 short points under it. Saba sighed as she realized she wasn’t being herself that day. It had been that way for over the past week. Ever since Zayaan had overheard the conversation she’d had with her father.

After a moment of silence that occurred after she’d made it clear to her father that she didn’t want to propose to Zayaan, they’d heard a knock on the door. Saba looked at that door with a startle and a heart that began to race as she realized that the knock was familiar. Her father had waited for her to go and open the door but her feet refused to go in that direction. When she didn’t move her father walked to the door to find the man Saba was sure he was.

Did he hear us just now? Saba’s mind got preoccupied with the question as she looked at Zayaan entering the house. Her hands turned cold as he looked to her father and then fixed his eyes on her. She begged her fate to not let him have heard the words he’d just said. His face told her quite the opposite as he looked at her with an expression she found hard to comprehend. Was it sympathy in his eyes? Or was it something more than that? Saba found it hard to assure.

“What is it, son? Did you leave anything here?” her father had broken the silence. “Um….yes! Saba told me she would give me one of her flower pots. I was thinking if I could get one tonight.” he’d said as though those weren’t the words he was intending to say. Saba looked at him for a moment in wonder until her father told her to get what he was asking for. She immediately went in to get a flower pot and came back to give it to Zayaan.

Saba closed her eyes as she remembered that moment. The look he had even as she’d handed him the pot. She wondered if that was the look her father had talked about. But there was something different that night, and that difference made her close to sure that he’d heard the words she desperately wanted him not to. She was surer about it from how he hadn’t showed up to the orphanage in the entire week that passed.

The more aware she became of his absence, the more apprehensive she became. What must he think of her now? He mustn’t have come across a girl who spoke of marriage when they’d just met for a few months. Given his looks, he must have dated girls before. He must think she was crazy to even think of him in a romantic sense. He must not want to even see her anymore.

The bell rang as that realization dawned upon her. That was it. The only reason he wasn’t even showing up at the orphanage was that he didn’t want to see her. Why would anyone want to see someone like her anyway? Saba closed her eyes and slowly breathed out. It was okay, she’d told herself. At the end of the day she didn’t see herself fit to be with someone like Zayaan anyway. And the only reason he must be away from her is because it was for the best. Over the past few days, she’d learned to accept that as she knows that Allah is no doubt the Most Loving and He is the only One Who Knows what is best for her. So instead of complaining, she decided to move on, no matter how hard it might be.

Little did she know that she was viewing Zayaan based on her past. Little did she know that just because she came across someone who looked down upon her before, didn’t mean that every person was bound to be the same. Little did she know that she was about to know that on that very day once she reached home. But she decided to do some extra hours of work at the library before she went home in order to immerse herself in work so that hopefully her thoughts would align better than they already have.

**

It was a little more than half past 4 when Saba got off the bus stop which was 3 blocks away from her home. She walked casually on the side of the street as the bus drove past her. She was looking at its direction as it did and thus it passed from her sight to reveal the clear sky of that evening. The sky had a yellowish orange color with thin strands of clouds here and there. The sun was on its way to set and thus the brightness of the day was dimming by the minute. This used to be was one of Saba’s favorite times in spring. She loved the evenings that weren’t so bright and neither too dim with yellow and clear skies. She especially liked how small dandelions had grown on the large span of grass patch right in front of her house. She used to go there every evening and just sit there with a good book. It was her ultimate escape.

But that very place became a place of misery 6 months ago, when she’d waited in that spot near the lake for whom she thought was the ‘love of her life.’ She thought that would become the happiest day of her life as she wore the wedding dress of his choice. She’d stood there waiting for him until her feet gave up on her and she fell on her knees.

Saba felt tears in her eyes as she remembered that day but quickly blinked telling herself that she was no longer going to live in her past. She swiftly looked away from the lake area like she always did. But just then, she was compelled to look in that direction as she thought she saw someone there. And there was a man, standing nearby the lake facing it. He wore a casual white shirt and blue jeans. His broad shoulders and well-built figure along with the sleeves that were rolled up to his elbow reminded her of someone. With a rush that overcame her heart, she looked to the front to see a black Tesla parked in front of her house and she was sure of her intuition. But why was he here? Saba fastened her pace as she thought about the question and ran up the pouch to directly open the door of her house without even the thought of knocking. Her father had left the door open at the time and she found him in the living room, reading a book to in the living room.

“Assalaamu’alaikum darling!” his father said in a joyful voice.

“Dad what is he doing here?”

“First off, it’s important to respond to salaam. Second, I think he would be able to answer that question.”

“Did he tell you anything?”

“Yes we did have a bit of a conversation and I’d told him the story of how you were about to get married to an absolute brat when he’d asked me.”

“Dad WHY did you have…..wait, he asked you?”

“Sure did….he’s been standing there ever since I told him the story. I’d told him to get into the house thrice in the past hour but he refused to move. He is waiting for you actually. He went there when I’d said you would be back by 3:30 but you came a bit late…”

“I….I was doing some extra hours at the library. Why didn’t you call me, Dad?”

“He clearly told me not to tell you as he wanted to take you by surprise. He has something to tell you. Why don’t you go and have a talk with him?”

Saba was surprised by how coolly her father was telling her that. That too with a smile. Something was going on behind her back and she didn’t have the tiniest of hint of what it could be. So she immediately turned her back to her father to go out of the house to see Zayaan from the far end of her sight. She waited for a moment and then walked to cross the street in a fast pace as though she was in a rush to know what was going on. But her pace slowed down automatically as she walked nearer to him from behind. He turned to see her when she was just a few steps away from him and she froze in her tracks.

“Hi!” Zayaan said, turning to her with a smile.

“H..hi!” Saba stuttered as she felt short of breath.

“I was waiting for you.” Zayaan said. Why?! Saba wanted to ask.

“Heard that from Dad.” she ended up saying. Zayaan smiled.

“He told me about how you’d waited for your fiancé here. So I thought of staying here to see how you must have felt.” he said. Saba stared at him in awe, not knowing what to say. Nobody had ever tried to see things from her perspective to that level, until today. She was beginning to think if she was dreaming until he spoke again.

“As empty as you must have felt that day Saba, I promise to never make you feel that way. I won’t be one to run away and I won’t be one to deceive you. Neither will I be one to treat you like an option. You will always be my priority.” Zayaan said.

“Zayaan….” Saba was about to say something not knowing what to make of what she was hearing when he spoke again.

“Will you marry me, Saba?” Zayaan said and Saba felt as though that moment came to a halt.