Chapter Twenty Four – Guilt of the other’s fault

Zayaan frantically dialed Saba’s number as he drove the car. He could barely breath, with his heart thumping against his chest, and his mind vividly imagining the worst-case scenario.

The phone began ringing and Zayaan anxiously looked back and forth from the windshield to the dashboard’s screen. His fear magnified when the ringing continued and there was no answer from the other end. He dialed the number again and failed to reach Saba once more.

He continued doing so and did it repetitively a dozen times until he couldn’t take it anymore and he hit the dashboard screen angrily before hitting on the accelerator.

Zayaan reached his home in the countryside faster than he ever did. He stopped the car abruptly and got out of it, not caring about how it was parked.

“Saba!” he called out as soon as he got into the house. He desperately hoped he would get an answer, but he didn’t. He rushed into the room and called out again in a raspy voice. Yet again no answer.

He then ran towards the bathroom door that was open. His heart went ‘no’ repeatedly as he went towards it, with every thump against his chest. Within a few wide steps he reached the bathtub and then he came to a sudden stop because of what he saw. It was none other than Saba, who was lying in the bathtub, under the water, eyes closed and seemingly lifeless.

Tears filled Zayaan’s eyes, and he felt numb for a few seconds. Then he fell on his knees and immediately grabbed Saba out of the water into his hands.

“Saba!” he called out loud as tears rolled down his cheeks.

**

Saba was playing in the backyard of her new home with her friends from the neighborhood with all smiles and without a care in the world. Her father had just moved to Switzerland with the whole family through the help from one of his close friends. Though the neighborhood they moved to was sub-urban and not luxurious, Saba was grateful that she was getting to continue her schooling abroad.

It had only been a few months and she had already made friends in the neighborhood. Her father was back from work and gardening and her mother was making evening tea for her and her friends. She knew her home to be a peaceful place, until she was startled that day with the sound of glass breaking from inside the house.

**

Saba opened her eyes narrowly as she heard someone calling out to her along with the sound of glass breaking that echoed in her ears. She felt an oxygen mask on her face when he saw Zayaan, who was moving the bed she was on along with the nurses on the other side, worriedly calling out to her and asking her if she could hear him. She wanted to answer but she felt so weak and dizzy that she instinctively closed her eyes again.

Then again, she began to imagine the chaos from her past. Her parents crying, as they found out that her brothers had become drug addicts. The violence that began in her home that was once filled with serenity. The cruelty that she and her mother had to face at the hands of her brothers when her father wasn’t around. And that fateful day when she gave a warning to her eldest brother.

“You are not going to get away with this! I’m going to report everything you did to the authorities. All of it!!” Saba shouted as she held on to her mother who had fainted onto the floor.

“Take that back this instant or you are going to regret it. And you know what we can do!”

“NO!” Saba said in all bravery not caring about whatever his brother may do to her. She had even closed her eyes, with a kind of fear that she’d never felt before. But her brother had unexpectedly walked out of the house, angrily shutting the door, startling Saba.

**

Saba opened her eyes again and this time, there was a doctor near her, along with Zayaan who was still worried. Zayaan was talking to the doctor about something but it wasn’t clear to Saba. She tried hard to remain conscious but ended up closing her eyes again.

**

“Saba, your mom said to turn all the knobs on the gas stove until she comes back from the grocery store. She told me to tell you this as she headed out.”

One of the boys from the neighborhood called out to her one day as she was on her way to a tuition class.

“She did? I really don’t know how the stove works.” 13-year-old Saba said, as they had gotten a gas stove only recently and she never saw one in her home country with the lifestyle they had.

“There is nothing to it! You just need to turn all the knobs to the left.” the boy said.

“I see…. thanks!” Saba said doubtfully before walking back into the house.

Her mother was new to it too. The only people who really knew about it was her father, and Saba wasn’t sure if her brothers knew. Either way, no one else was at home at the time so she had to do it on her own.

Hence, she had turned all the knobs to the left, with no fire lighting up at all. She wasn’t sure why the fire wasn’t appearing. She thought it would be a mechanism of pre-heating the stove like a microwave.

So, she had left the stove that way as she came out of the house, not realizing that would be the last time she would see that house and her mother.

**

Saba tried hard to catch her breath as she the noise of a loud explosion echoed in her head and her vision filled with the sight of fire. Amidst that, she heard a voice calling out to her.

“Saba…. Saba are you alright?!” that voice became clearer, and she opened her eyes with a start. It was none other than Zayaan, who held her face with one hand and holding her hand with the other.

“Are you alright?” Zayaan asked again, and tears welled up in her eyes for a reason even she couldn’t comprehend at that moment. She began to cry and the next thing she knew, she was in the warmth of two strong arms, consoling her in the best way possible, and yet she couldn’t stop crying for a long time.