Chapter Twenty Two – Stupefied

Alaya let out a sigh and stood to her feet. For some reason her head felt lighter after the dua she just made. She had firmness within her heart as she looked forward to the road ahead. She did not want to go back to where she came from after what she faced there. She wanted to start a new life. All over again. Only this time, she did not feel any insecurity for an unknown reason. She had incredible hope in her heart that everything was going to be okay. That she was going to find a way out. Towards a better life than she has right now. She had that hope from the very first step she took forward.

Raphael’s POV

It was half past 12 when Raphael reached home that night. He went into his room and dropped himself onto his bed. His eyes were sore from all the crying from the time he left Alaya to that very moment. He’d stopped his car near a silent neighborhood to let all his tears out but they simply wouldn’t stop. He could not help but think about how he’d lost the girl who brought hope into his life forever. Laana would make fun of him for those emotions of his if she knew, Raphael thought painfully. If only he had the one who understood him by his side. If only…

Raphael shook his head and got up to sit on the edge of the bed to stop thinking about it. He mustn’t be thinking in ‘if only’s. Whatever happens is only by the Will of Allah and there is no changing it. And whatever Allah Wills to happen, is only for the best.

Raphael agreed with the thought, got up from his bed and went to the bathroom make wudu without second thoughts. He was out within a couple of minutes and then he started praying. As he started to recite Suratul Fatiha, he began to cry. He remembered those first days where he’d first started to take his religion seriously.

Even he was one of those muslims who doubted Islam. He questioned it plenty though he kept it secret. He was quietly siding with those ex-muslim students who were debating with muslim students while he was studying in college. It appeared to him that the muslim students did not have solid answers to the questions that the ex-muslim students were asking. So he reached the conclusion that Islam is not the right religion just based on hearsay. He did not try to read the Quran and think about it for himself even once. Just because he heard about couple of ‘harsh’ verses from the Quran, he made his assumption that the Book was all hocus pocus written with the intention of controlling people by scaring them.

But then one day, he met a young man slightly older than his age on a subway in New York. He had half an hour to kill until the train that will take him to his college came so he’d sat on a bench. A while later, the man sat next to him and soon Raphael realized that he was reciting Quran. And it surprised him. He never saw a young man taking Islam seriously until then. It kind of scared him as he thought that the man could be one of those seeking the image of ‘terrorism.’ But Raphael’s ego that day did not make him want to back off. He wanted to challenge the guy, no matter how dangerous it appeared to him.

“Good day huh? Whatcha reading?” Raphael said, trying to sound friendly. He expected the man to glare at him. He was planning to use that glare to question the character of muslims and bring him on spot. But to his surprise, he found himself being gifted with the kindest smile he had ever seen.

“Assalaam’alaikum. I’m reading the Quran. You look like you are from Egypt. Are you muslim, brother?” the man asked. Raphael’s smile faded as he stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Y…yes I am.” Raphael said hesitantly, as he wasn’t sure about that since it had been months since the last time he prayed.

“That’s great to know Ma Sha Allah. Haven’t met a muslim outside of a masjid ever since I moved to New York. My name is Liam…what’s your name brother? Where are you headed?” Liam said, extending a hand towards Raphael. Raphael took it awkwardly.

“My name is Raphael. I’m going to college.” he said, as Liam shook his hand with a bright smile.

That was the beginning of Raphael’s friendship with Liam. Liam worked in an office close by to Raphael’s college so they started meeting up frequently. At the time, Raphael had his garage and other businesses started and Liam encouraged him to keep moving forward. Raphael liked his company as he’d frequently give business tips based on his own experience with being a beginner entrepreneur on a company that sells digital art. As a result, he started spending more time with him, visiting his small office and meeting his handful of employees.

Soon, Raphael began to realize how religious Liam actually was. It didn’t just boil down to the beard he had. But rather, Islam had literally taken over his whole life. It impacted the way he spent his time, the way he ate, the greetings he said, the way he interacted with people and a whole lot of things. He’d pre-pone or cancel meetings just to ensure he made it to the prayers on time. He’d pause a project that is due within an hour just for the prayer. He’d spend time reciting Quran on the train because he knows he wouldn’t get any other time during the day. More than this, Raphael could guarantee that Liam would never lie. Neither would he do anything indecent.

Spending time with Liam had an impact on Raphael too. As Liam would go to pray while having a conversation with him, it would just be too awkward for Raphael not to go with him. So he’d go and pray with him, though he hadn’t the slightest clue of what to say in the prayer. Nonetheless he promised himself never to lie again and be true to himself, as he saw Liam apologizing to an employee for a mistake that he could have justified.

Raphael kept thinking more about how an intelligent person like Liam could take Islam seriously. Liam was clearly his kind of a person. Not a close-minded unsuccessful person like most religious people. Raphael held himself back from fulfilling his curiosity but simply could not help it because of an incident.

It was the third day of Ramadaan that year. Raphael and Liam were walking on a street when a bunch of girls who were dressed in short skirts and tops were reaching them. They were laughing out loud joking about something. Raphael’s head began to spin as he looked at the three girls dressed that way.

“Whoa!” Raphael looked at Liam to crack a dirty joke but his smile faded when he saw Liam lowering his eyes with a serious look. As though he was disturbed about something. Raphael was too taken away by the looks of those girls to care about what was happening to Liam. For some reason, the girl in the middle, who was wearing a red sleeveless top and a black skirt caught his attention. He could have sworn that he must have seen her. As his eyes moved along with her, the girl brushed against Liam’s shoulder as she went.

“Watch where you are going! You ****!” the girl screamed and walked away. Just then, Liam stopped in his footsteps. Raphael looked at where he was looking and saw a wallet on the pavement. Liam bent, picked it up and turned around.

“Excuse!” Liam said as he walked up to that girl. The girl stopped and turned around.

“What is it?!” the girl said crossing her arms against her chest with the arrogance clearly showing on her face. Perhaps she was assuming that Liam was going to give her some attention. But that wasn’t the case.

“Here.” Liam just showed the wallet in his hand. His eyes were fixed on the wallet and Raphael was wondering how he did it. The girl kept looking at him surprised all the same.

“Thanks.” the girl said, taking her wallet.

“You are welcome.” Liam said, taking a step back with his eyes still low. The girl gave a light laugh.

“Why don’t you look at me?” the girl asked curiously.

“It’s not for me to look.” Liam said, turning his back to her. Raphael looked at the scene, stupefied.