Million-dollar question: When are you getting married?

When are you getting married? Are you seeing someone? Your family must be looking for you, aren’t they? You know almost all your other friends have gotten married so next is your turn, isn’t it?  You should start looking soon because you are not getting any younger!

I dedicate this post to anyone who has been bombarded with one of these or a heinous combination of any of these. I dedicate this to those who are being overwhelmed with the pressure to get married, day in and day out.

First thing I’d like to tell you is that you are not alone. There are many single people out there who are going through this struggle. And other people around them seem to believe that their single friends are somehow ‘incomplete’. Some people are genuinely concerned that their single friends might completely be left alone their entire lives. The others are joking around with those statements, perhaps being oblivious to the impact they have on their single friends. While the rest, believe it or not, maybe in a rush to see whether you ‘perform’ better than them in creating a ‘perfect’ marriage.

As a result of many of these conversations, we tend to feel lonelier than we are, or perhaps even depressed. Because at the end of the day, the people around us and the words we hear impact us more than we think. Many of the us tend to get desperate to get into a relationship or a marriage because of it. Many of us tend to lower our standards of seeking a spouse because of this. And this is clearly not healthy and pressure from other people is not a reason to start a marriage in the first place!

So, the real million-dollar question is, how do you deal with this pressure as you go through single life? It’s a lot simpler than you think!

The main thing that you need to remember is that marriage is not an end goal in life. It becomes a huge thing in our minds because of the pressure that we are talking about and also a lot of movies that we have seen. You can still be a fully functioning, happy and successful human being while you are still single. Remember, marriage is not the purpose of your life. The purpose of your life is to live in a way that’s pleasing to Allah. Therefore, your relationship status does not define you. Rather your relationship with Allah and the good you do, does.

The fear of being single for life can be hard to beat, but not impossible. The key to beating is again, changing our focus. Instead of seeing the single life as a ‘difficult test’ from Allah, see it as a blessing. Because I tell you, it is a blessing, in more ways you think. When you are single, you have more time to learn more about yourself. You have time to grow your strengths and work on your weaknesses. You have time to reflect on yourself and find out if you have any emotional wounds and take the necessary steps to heal yourself. You have time to work on your habits and your daily routines in a way that works best for you. You have time to learn new skills and learn more about the deen and the world at large.

Engage yourself in doing these things, instead of wondering about when the ‘love of your life’ is going to walk into your life so that you can have a happy ending. Why think about a happy ending in the future, when you can make your present moment happier than ever?

So, if you are still single, spend time with yourself. Get to know more about yourself. Grow that beautiful mind of yours with knowledge. Work on every dream of yours without fear and create a happiness you crave for while you are still single. Because at the end of the day, you can only have a healthy marriage in the future, when you have happiness of your own that you can share with your future spouse In Sha Allah!