Respond to that anger!

There you are, standing in front of someone whose voice is gradually rising. You know that you have done something to disappoint this person and you know you could have handled the situation better. But you defend yourself too. Saying to yourself that you only acted inappropriately because you too, were hurt. Or maybe you haven’t even done anything wrong from the way you see it. Your fist clenches and your face turns red as your blood boils and you feel a frown appearing on your face. The most intense responses that you can slam on the face of the person in front of you is building up in your mind.

What do you do next?

For each of us it’s going to be different. In Surah Ale Imran, Allah describes what a ‘Muhsin’ will do in such a situation. Muhsin is someone who does Ihsaan (excellence). Ihsaan is the highest level of faith we can reach. There is Islam, which means to submit, to just abide by the laws of deen. Above Islam is Iman, which means to be truly convinced of the religion. To truly believe because of how a person has thought about the ayahs of Allah and has come into contact with evidences. Above Iman is Ihsaan. Which means to be conscious of Allah at all times. And because someone who does Ihsaan (a Muhsin) is always conscious of Allah, he excels in everything he does. (refer to hadhith on Islam, Iman, Ihsaan)

Why am I telling you all of this? This is just to give you some idea of how high above the status of a Muhsin is. And Allah says that He loves the Muhsins in multiple places. Now you might think as I had, “these people must do some amazing things that I probably can never do.” But when I studied this passage in Surah Ale Imran that describes some characteristics of those people, I was surprised by the simplicity of the things Allah highlights. In this post, I will describe just one thing Allah mentions, that all of us can definitely do In Sha Allah.

وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ

“……And they swallow the anger…..” Surah Ale Imran, ayah 134

Notice the strange language. The ayah could have said that they do not get angry. But Allah gives an image so that we understand better. If someone is chewing something, we would know that he is eating. But if he SWALLOWS it, we wouldn’t know that he even ate something in the first place!

This is how a Muhsin, who is conscious of Allah at all times, handles a difficult situation where even his own emotions are getting out of hand. He is able to manage his anger such that it would barely even show on his face. How does he do it though? People like us might lose it all together when our temper takes a hold of us. But a Muhsin is able to go against even his own emotions because he is conscious of his Rabb. He knows that he is in this situation only as a test. He knows that his Master is watching him to see his reaction. And the pleasure of Allah is greater to him than anything at that moment.

Now lets ask ourselves. Is the pleasure of Allah greater to us than anything else? What could ‘winning an argument’ in this world gain you anyway? What are you trying to prove by raising your voice? Or showing a face of anger? Is that somehow going to bring you any justice? Does raising your voice add to your dignity? Is being able to show the most intense anger the achievement? Or remaining silent when the other person is losing it with the intention of becoming a Muhsin? These are some questions that you and I need to ask ourselves when we stand at the edge of losing our temper.

So the question is, what will you do next?

#Selfreminder

PS: I’m not saying that we don’t say anything in our defense in any situation. There will be cases where we need to speak up. But the main principle, as Rasool (SAW) has advised us is, we must stay silent when we ourselves are angry. For us to speak, we must be in a state that we can think clearly about the words we are going to say before we utter them. Otherwise, we are to remain silent. And Allah Knows best